


Resurrected Repartee: A Hallowed Shapes AU

by WritingManiac



Series: Hallowed Shapes [4]
Category: Damage Control (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: ...Maybe Smut?, Affectionate Insults, Alternate Universe, Angst, Awkward Conversations, Banter, Canon LGBTQ Character, Comedy, Conversations, Cuddles, Developing Relationship, Existentialism, Explicit Consent, F/F, F/M, Female Loki (Marvel), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Gender or Sex Swap, Heavy Petting, Holding Hands, Insults, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Jotunn | Frost Giant, Kissing, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lady Loki, Loki (Marvel) Redemption, M/M, Makeouts, Marvel Universe, My First Smut, Nudity, Optional Smut, Original Character(s), Other, Partial Nudity, Pillow Fights, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Public Nudity, Redemption, Romantic Angst, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Gestures, Second Chances, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Snuggling, Social Commentary, Symbolism, Tickling, damage control
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-18 17:36:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 30,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14218251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingManiac/pseuds/WritingManiac
Summary: These are alternative scenes and/or snippets of a developing relationship between my OC and Loki from my original fiction, Hallowed Shapes, for any shippers out there.Terra Barloc is a member of Damage Control, an organization that cleans up super messes, and frankly, all of them are kind of tired of cliches and super bulls***t.  She has abilities to see "life energy" as she calls it, and through lies and facades. That means shape-shifting and tricking her can be well, tricky. Plus, she's addicted to caffeine, painkillers don't have much of an affect on her, and she can't get drunk.What happens the first time when she meets Loki, Prince of Asgard? Well, he was invading Earth and...She tackled him, insulted him, and uh, it's best just to read. Let's just say these two have issues, massive issues.So getting them into a romance, is going to be a bit of an adventure....Did the author mention that Terra sprays his naked rear with fire extinguisher foam because she's tired of his literal over-dramatic a**? No? Oops, spoilers.





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone wants to check out the original series, here's a link to Hallowed Shapes:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/12130881/chapters/27516288
> 
> Here's my Deviantart: https://writingmaniac.deviantart.com/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my Beta Readers really liked the idea of shipping Loki with my OC even though they're not canon in my fanfiction, Hallowed Shapes.
> 
> We're friends and while I didn't get it at first, I'm not against anyone shipping said character with other fictional characters as long as everything's consensual and/or healthy relationship-wise. Heck, I'm a little supportive because Loki's literally gender-fluid and both characters are LGBT (neither are straight) even if I don't directly ship them.
> 
> So, that being said, I originally wrote these alternative scenes of my story for their birthday.
> 
> Please enjoy.

“Let me get this straight, Terry gawked, “No one else sees him as some genderbent version of Violet Beauregarde with a tattoo complex?”

 

Abigail shrugged, “Well, he’s got the looks of a beau, I’ll give him that. But, no, he’s not blue or a berry. So, I think that’s your LSD vision talking. Care to share anything else you see?”

 

“..I think we can all concur on the obvious,” Terry grumbled.

 

“And what’s that?”

 

“He’s an ass. C’mon, we need to help save the city and possibly the world.”

 

As they each began going on their separate way, Abigail commented, “Why are heroes and villains always so good looking anyways? Terrible waste if you ask me.”

 

“No one did,” Frank snorted.

  


* * *

Terry let out a curse as she caught sight of a spear flying in the direction of the Smurf-Goat. He may have been unleashing all kinds of hell upon New York, but there were multiple reasons she couldn’t let him die. Primarily, he wasn’t getting off that easily, not when she knew Death was merciful. Eyes burning, she ran and the man and tackled him to the ground, grunting when the blade pierced her shoulder.

  


Yet, as she got a closer look at him, there was something off. There were times where she could see if something wasn’t wholly themselves. Well, apparently this was one of those times. Of course, that’s when the asshole had to tear the spear from her shoulder as they landed and flipped them. Before he could get a look at her and before she would tense up, Terra knocked him off his skinny rear end so that he was face down.

  


Breathing heavily, she groaned in pain as she pressed down on a point on his spine that rendered him mostly immobile. Damn, she hated touching people like this if at all, but she had to bear it as best she could. “Okay Smurf Goat guy, I just saved your life, so could you please have a smidge of decency and not take mine?!”

  


His voice was muffled against the asphalt, but the offense in his tone was more than audible, “What did you just call me?”

  


“You’re blue, you have goat horns, and on top of that, you’re an ass. What do you want?” she huffed. Then, she tilted her head, palming her face, “Oh gods, I just saved the equivalent of a blue balled Satan.”  
  


The asshole in question started to fight back and Terry promptly placed her knee where her finger had been, holding him more firmly as she checked the area for more danger, while also seeking aid. “You coward!”

  


She thought for a moment. Okay, he cleary wasn’t wholly in control of himself, meaning someone else was in there. She could literally see the presence of someone else’s mind in his. Terry smirked then. Tecnically, she could force answers out of him, like she could anyone, but she wouldn't. Instead, if she did this right…

  


Clearing her throat, she quickly rearranged their positions so that while she stood behind him, she had his arms crossed, and holding his surprisingly thin wrists in her hands. He seemed puzzled by this position, until she said calmly, and gently, “Okay, what’s your name?”

  


“I am Loki, Prince of Asgard you pathetic-”

  


Oh, so he was Thor’s brother. That explained a lot. Sighing inwardly, she kept her tone pleasant and soft, “Loki-”

  


“Prince Loki!”

  


“Loki,” she uttered, not bothering to correct herself to his whims. Wow, he whined a lot. “I am holding you because I will not let you hurt yourself or anyone else. I will let you go when you calm down.”

  


He stiffened, and even if they’re eyes had never met, she sensed he most likely glaring, probably having caught onto what she was doing. “Are you...Speaking to me as if I’m a child?”

  


“Well,” she shrugged, her tone having stayed the same, “If you continue acting so petulantly like one, then I will treat you like one.”

  


He was silent for a good few seconds, growling, “Had you not saved my life, you would be dead by now.”

  


“Had I not saved your life, so would you,” she commented, not threatening yet not loosening her grip even as he did in response to her words. “Just be be glad Death herself doesn’t like people suffering once they enter her domain.”

  


“...What?”

  


There were large blasts and she yelled for him to get down, shoving him away from incoming danger. Her yelp in pain was nearly drowned out as concrete fell around her, and she barely got out of the way of falling rubble, her leg getting cut and partially crushed in the process, leaving a trail of blood. A wall separated her from the presumed Prince, the sounds outside muffled.

  


Yet, for a moment she could’ve sworn their eyes had met, and for a fraction of a second as he had seen her pain, he might’ve looked...Worried? His hand had even been outreached for her, as if he’d been ready to aid her. He’d even gotten to his knees, starting to move towards her? If not for his expression, for her eyesight, she’d have thought he was charging at her, to harm her or finish her off. Through the rubble though, she saw his fear, and something akin to regret?

  


No, something definitely wasn’t right about this situation.

  


Wincing, she hissed as she paged Damage Control and SHIELD, barely noticing that her hand had been cut in addition to her leg injury as she gave both groups an update on her status and what she knew.  
  
  
...Just what the hell was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a canon scene from my fanfiction, edited slightly for shipping purposes. It would most likely occur in Hallowed Shapes: Tuesday in either Chapter 24: Blue Balls, or Chapter 25: Assemble.
> 
> Yes, this is a verified technique done for parents and teachers for toddlers. I have used it, and so have trained professionals.
> 
> This is slight spoilers since it's a part of the chapter for Hallowed Shapes, but it's also part of their first meeting in case anyone was interested.
> 
> EDIT: Since for Hallowed Shapes I typically have Ending Credits songs, here's the one for this chapter, which is the same as the one that Blue Balls, where Loki stars in, will end with. It's In the End by Linkin Park.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVTXPUF4Oz4&t=0s&index=1&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm


	2. Photographs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to check out the original series, here's a link to Hallowed Shapes:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/12130881/chapters/27516288
> 
> Here's my Deviantart: https://writingmaniac.deviantart.com/

Barloc grunted, rubbing her eyes as energy from all people kept fading in and out of her senses at a constant rate in tune with both her pulse, and the throbbing of pain in her leg that no pain killer yet known could medicate. Cursing in her mind, she imagined at least a dozen ways to kick that blue-balled Smurf of an Asgardian ass to kingdom come. Perhaps it wasn’t entirely fair to place the blame on him for her leg getting broken, but as far as anyone knew, he was the one who invaded Earth in the first place.

 

Hobbling down the hallways, Bart helping her get used to her crutches, Terra winced at the sight of the construction crews and families mourning of the lives lost by the Wall. Looking down at her leg, she grit her teeth, not just from the pain in her limb, but also the hollowness in her chest. The heroes had done the best they could and what they did was exemplary work if anyone was being honest, especially under the circumstances, but so much, so many, too many had been lost. Hell, Terr was frankly shocked she hadn’t lost her life in the process as well after learning how bad some parts of the city had gotten.

 

“Terr?”

 

She shook her head at Bart. “I’m fine, just probably need my medication soon.”

 

He frowned, sighing. “I hate that pain meds don’t work on you.”

 

Her mostly brown eyes lingering on the people around the Wall, lighting candles and crying, she murmured, “I don’t think they’ll work for anyone for a while.”

 

Normally he’d be a smart alec, but he wisely said nothing as they made their way down to the medical facilities. There were still people recovering in there, including non-Damage Control members, since some hospitals were full. Terra made her business quick, the nurse on staff already having reached for her medicine as soon as she entered, clucking worriedly.

 

“Miss Barloc, you are taking medical leave soon, yes?”

 

“Today’s my last day before break,” Terra verified sorrowfully, feeling useless in all of the chaos. Taking the glass of water offered, she sipped her drink before swallowing the pill. Her tongue went numb and the taste was awful to the point where not only was it difficult to swallow, but she was tearing up. The medical practitioner patted her on the back, easing her along. “Ugh.”

 

“Sorry, but you know-”

 

“This stuff helps me from going crazy while my leg heals?” Terra offered. “Yeah, antipsychotics tend to do that. Still blechy though.”

 

The nurse frowned, “We could always try out the injectable kind?”

 

Terra pinched the bridge of her nose. “This drug is the only known one to work consistently and the injectable ones have been flimsy at best for some reason, even though logically they should be more efficient.”

 

Setting down the glass, the nurse helped her up from her seat, both being momentarily startled as Abigail called out for Barloc. “C’mon! I’ve got something to cheer us up a little!”

 

“As long as you don’t stress out my patients!”

 

“I won’t!”

 

The nurse steadied her. “Remember, you need your second dose later this evening, preferably six hours from now.”

 

“Got it,” Barloc sighed, starting to maneuver when Frank Johnson walked over and picked her up. Pouting, but relieved, she sighed. “Thanks, Fezzik.”

 

Snorting, he replied, “I’m not a friendly giant.”

 

“No, you’re our friendly giant,” Terr smiled. She blinked at the sight of being carried into the miniature theatre where presentations, staff orientations, and usually movies for the kids were shown. There was a small crowd of close friends and family Terra was acquainted with there, some smirking at her. “Now I’m very worried. What’s going on?”

 

Abigail stood at the front with the projector, worrying Terra more and the latter struggled to relax so as not to burn through her medication so quickly. “Abigail, what so important that you decided I had to come in here before I deliver the files?”

 

Abigail Dunton rolled her eyes. “One, you have a broken leg and shouldn’t be working in any case. Two, there’s something you’ve never participated in and I think you should start, or at least try gauging yourself at.”

 

The members around Terry began giggling and Terry felt a sense of doom hit her stomach. “I probably don’t want to know.”

 

“Well, remember when we talked about not judging someone by their walk or fashion sense? I realized that you don’t really look at people. And don’t get started on your whole vision thing. I mean, you don't have to objectify people necessarily, but you can at least appreciate someone’s looks, right? No matter what affiliation they have? There’s nothing particularly wrong with that you know. Things and people can just be, aesthetically pleasing.”

 

Really, now of all times? Then again, maybe Abigail was trying to distract them all for a few moments from all of the stress that was happening. Reluctantly surrendering for everyone else’s sake, Terra blinked, relaxing a little, but still unable to rid herself of suspicion, “Where is this going?”

 

“Well, we know you’re into both girls, and maybe boys, so I’ve brought in some pictures of people throughout history. I’ve only got guys right now but I’m working on girls. Some I even dug through old SHIELD files for,” Abigail explained. “Just to show you there’s no harm in liking someone’s looks.”

 

Barloc scowled, “I’m still not going to judge someone based on how they look, or evaluate attractiveness on-”

 

The picture appeared, and thankfully it was only a head shot. Still, Terry felt her eyes burn. The guy was attractive physically, much more than she expected for someone in an old photo, but there was someone off about him. Someone disturbing.

 

 

“Hot, huh?” Abigail jeered.

 

Terra shook her head, “I don’t like him.”

 

Everyone, including some of the guys who claimed not to be attracted to members of their own gender, looked confused. “Terra, are you sure? He’s considerably attractive and oh, your eyes are glowing. So even if you don’t know who he is…”

 

“He’s a bad guy, isn’t he?” Terra asked.

 

Dunton groaned, “That ruined the surprise. Yeah...It’s Stalin in his early twenties. Damn he was fine.”

 

Terra gaped, shrieking in horror, “He was a dictator! One of the worst in history! What the heck?!”

 

Abigail paled, “Okay, maybe that was a bad one to start off on. Let’s see a good guy or two. Fine, some body appreciation. And don’t worry, no need for a fig leaf...Yet.”

 

Barloc grit her teeth, “Yet?”

 

Two more photos appeared, this time of topless men. Terra recognized them though. They were from the original Star Trek series. It was Kirk and Spock that time they were practically stripped down by Nazis. The audience who had no idea of the plot began whispering questions as to why they were half naked and why Kirk had what appeared to be claw marks on his back. Terra flushed with embarrassment and the struggle from trying not to laugh as people began suggesting theories such as BDSM and something kinky. Why were so many of her friends perverts?

 

 

Abigail waved her hands. “Settle down guys. Now, as you know the original Star Trek was back in the mid to late 1960s. Here’s something you guys should know. Those two, those two are considered ripped.”

 

“...Huh?” Terra muttered, squinting her eyes. “Um, they’re not unattractive per se, but when I think of ripped, I think of overblown muscles like Thor.”

 

Frank nodded. “Well, when you think about it, lots of members in the construction crew also have muscles kind of like Kirk and Spock. It’s made through more natural means of labor while Thor and some other people like him like heroes, villains, etc, probably either work out a lot or constantly fight. Our kinds or exercise and nutrition are different, and they’ve constantly changed throughout history.”

 

Terry grimaced. “Yeah, but, Thor’s theoretically been around for thousands of years, as has other Asgardians. He’s ‘ripped’ by standards of today.”

 

“He’s also an extraterrestrial and his people have technology our people are only beginning to develop,” Abigail pointed out. “And wait, we’re supposed to be ogling people! Not coming up with theories! Quit that!”

 

Marie gestured. “So, yea or nay on Kirk or Spock?”

 

Barloc sighed, frowning and shrugging. “I don’t know. I think they’re both okay I guess? I’m sorry, Spock’s not bad looking but he reminds me too much of Namor, and Kirk...Looking at him objectively is really hard because I know him both as his character and as William Shatner. If I had to depend on looks alone, he’s all right but I’m not going to drool over him.”

 

“That’s better than nothing I suppose,” Abigail grunted, switching the slides out. “Okay then, let’s try some Asgardians. How about Thor first? Did you know that when SHIELD takes certain prisoners in, they do strip searches? They took in a Donald Blake and he has a fine-”

 

“NO!” Terra yelled. “He’s like a coworker!”

 

There were multiple audible sounds of disappointment. Abigail rolled her eyes, “Fine, they took in another Asgardian prisoner though-”

 

Terra yelped, covering her eyes and there were conflicted noises. Even without looking, Terra knew who it likely was. Loki was a controversial person in Damage Control. Many didn’t know what to make of him, but the general idea was to hate him. He was not only a villain that tried to take over the world, but his actions resulted in the deaths of many even within their organization. Yet, many people on Earth for some reason or another managed to find the terrorist attractive. Why or how Barloc could not fathom.

 

“Oh relax, he still has pants on.”

 

Barloc groaned as if in pain before looking, then tilted her head in confusion at the image. Loki was glaring furiously at the camera, clearly pissed off that he was being inspected for weapons in such a fashion. Yet, he had an odd little smirk. But, that wasn’t what confused Terra. Noticing her perplexion, Abigail asked what was wrong.

 

“...Do you remember when I described him as a blue-balled Satan with tattoo-like markings all over his skin?” Terra said, eyebrow twitching.

 

“Yeah? You also called him a Smurf and genderbent Violet Beauregarde.”

 

Snickers rang out and Barloc nearly choked, coughing a little, “Um, those markings? They go below the belt line.”

 

The amount of squealing and screeches nearly broke Barloc’s eardrums, almost sending her flailing out of her seat. She had to catch herself on one of the armrests so she wouldn't fall off from the overwhelming pitch. Damn these people should be in a musical from how loud they could be! Abigail was fanning herself, much to Barloc’s irritation and Frank elbowed Terra, teasing her slightly. What was even the big deal anyways? So what if he had markings there? They didn't make much sense. If anything, they were just confusing. What purpose did they serve?

 

“So, yea or nay?”

 

“Nay,” Barloc stated coolly without hesitation. “He’s a jerk and I don’t go for terrorist, tantruming, geriatric toddlers.”

 

There was some laughter and gestures that either agreed with her or indicated they liked her commentary, but Abigail looked slightly disappointed. Nevertheless, the next slides came and this time, Barloc smirked as laughter burst out. It was an image of Namor, but instead of him being nude, Abigail had stuck a paper doll dress on him with sparkles and a pretty bow. That cheered her up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a canon scene from my fanfiction, edited slightly for shipping purposes. It WILL occur in Hallowed Shapes: Wednesday, Chapter 2: The Revenant’s Hiraeth.
> 
> I do NOT own any the photographs used in this. They are owned by the following:
> 
> https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/young-stalin-1894-1919/
> 
> http://smong.net/2014/02/star-treks-shout-out-to-lee-kuan-yew.html
> 
> I merely used them for educational (body types) and creative (fanfiction) purposes.
> 
> EDIT: The Ending Song for this Chapter is Happy Song, by Bring Me the Horizon, which is the same as the chapter it will take place in.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBRAnuT48qo&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm&index=2


	3. Meeting Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to check out the original series, here's a link to Hallowed Shapes:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/12130881/chapters/27516288
> 
> Here's my Deviantart: https://writingmaniac.deviantart.com/

"I know dating is not for everyone, but we sure as hell know you're not asexual or aromantic, Terr," Abigail gesticulated. "Even if your sexuality is questionably grey."

 

Terra was quiet for a moment, bittersweet memories drudging up to the surface of her mind, as she sighed, "I understand that you wish the best for me Abigail, but you do know that pairing me up with someone, or even multiple people isn't going to bring me happiness, right?"

 

Her friend frowned as she rolled her eyes, "Oh I know, I've got enough ancient history with that one. But I do think you're letting your own bad memories cloud your mind. Even if you don't find a Mister or Miss Right, maybe you should at least try taking your mind off things? See what options there are? Some company might be nice? Even if things don't work out, make a friend or two."

 

The Damage Control member scoffed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Oh please, whoever's willing to put up with me has got to have either the patience of a saint or the determination of a god and neither of those are very good ideas, Abigail."

 

Abigail rolled her eyes, “Seriously Terr? It’s not like some gorgeous deity is just going to appear kneeling before you-”  
  


As her friend was finishing her sentence, two, very much naked and brawling, men burst through the wall, screeching curses as the battled.  Terry and Abigail managed to look somewhat shocked and confused before turning towards one another. Terra gaped as her companion mumbled something under her breath about something akin about it being even better that there were two of them and naked?   
  
Then Abigail raised her arms at the ceiling briefly, "It's not like I'm going to win a million dollars!"  
  
  
"Abigail," Terra deadpanned, feeling shocked but realizing she really shouldn't have been then.  
  
  
"What?! Oh, wrong direction." Abigail faced downwards then. "It's not like I'm going to win a million dollars!"  
  
  
Terra groaned as she dragged Abigail along, turning to a nearby supply closet. One grabbed a couple of long shirts that could easily drape to one’s knees, and the other a fire extinguisher. As the fight continued, the two women waved hands between each other, figuring out which one should perform which task. Abigail shrugged and Terry rolled her eyes, blasting the two men in white, freezing foam.  
  


They stopped, even if the profanity grew worse for a few seconds. Abigail clapped her hands, “Okay you two, break it up! You’re on our turf and we don’t like it when you break our stuff! Now put some clothes on before we send Hulk after your pale arses.”  
  


The dark haired one turned to the blond, “They can do that?”  
  


Terra’s jaw clenched, recognizing him not by the image, or by the sight, but rather...By the sound and scent of him oddly enough. Normally her powers would take control of such matters against her will, taking control over her senses, but not this time. This time, her it was her clearest memory of when she first encountered this whiny prince, and tackled him in a hold meant to disarm tantruming toddlers. Well, if it worked...

 

“They’re Damage Control. They can call anyone.”

 

Terry set down the fire extinguisher with a clank, not even bothering to look at their “visitors”. Dusting her hands, she examined the damage. Whistling lowly, she murmured, “Damn, Yoda’s gonna have a field day with this one.” Finally looking at Loki and Thor she asked, “Seriously, do you two have to break everything that isn’t yours?”

 

Loki was squinting,  the bags under his eyes more prominent than she remembered. When was the last time they met again? Nearly a year? He was immortal wasn’t he? He shouldn’t have aged this much. “Have we met before?”

 

Oh course he wouldn’t remember. What a puny mortal she was. Then again, it wasn’t as if they had proper introductions, did they? Terra tilted her head, wondering if she should tell him since he at least had some vague hint of memory in his subconscious that may have recollected her. Instead, she pinched the bridge of her nose before offering the both of them a hand up. “I deal with way too many crazy assholes...In any case, what are you two doing here? I thought you two belonged to more of Hulk’s realm which was breaking stuff. If you hadn’t noticed, we try to fix damage, not make it.”

 

Still, one had to wonder why they were naked in the first place. The fighting anyone could comprehend. But why nude?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a canon scene from my fanfiction, edited slightly for shipping purposes. It will occur in Hallowed Shapes: Wednesday, Chapter 19: Snowstorm's Lullaby.
> 
> Fun Fact: Norse deities would SOMETIMES, but not always, go into battle naked, as would vikings. It was a test of their bravery or for special occasions. Also, for this it was kind of a fan service thing.
> 
> PS I love how neither my OC nor Loki are straight. Especially how Loki is LITERALLY genderfluid. Terra would easily be flustered if/when she found out.
> 
> Lady Loki for the win.
> 
> EDIT: The song for this chapter is X Ambassadors' Unsteady, which is the ending song for Snowstorm's Lullaby.


	4. A Taste of Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to check out the original series, here's a link to Hallowed Shapes:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/12130881/chapters/27516288
> 
> Here's my Deviantart: https://writingmaniac.deviantart.com/

Terry snorted a little as Loki made a disgusted face at the smell of her coffee. “What is that hideous beverage?”

 

“Death Wish Coffee,” she said, slightly regretting her words as she saw Loki’s eyes light up.

 

Oh dear.  Wait, dare she think he almost looked, relieved? There was even some color back in his cheeks. “You, I know you. You’re that wench that saved me a year ago.”

 

“And you’re the whiniest god slash extraterrestrial I’ve ever met,” she drawled, consuming her caffeine intake for the day.

 

He glared both at her and her cup, “Now I understand how fitting that drink is.”

 

“Hey, you’re the one who challenged the Avengers,” she chuckled, waving her cup. “Care to try some?”

 

The glaring continued with some annoyed finger tapping added to it. With some nice music they could pull off an album. “Do you not know any fear?”

 

Despite his words, the tone didn’t hold much venom. Don’t tell her he was being nicer to her because she saved his arse.

 

“Oh, I know plenty. I’m a member of Damage Control. We die a lot, like when our planet is invaded by some asshat that threatens our world and thinks we’re not going to get pissed off,” she said, her eyes burning. “Yes, I know fear. Everyone knows fear. But, there are also people willing to do something about it. For example, I attack my fears and pound them into the ground. How about you?”

 

Loki was staring at her in perplexion now, as though trying to solve a puzzle. “You’re...Rather volatile, aren’t you?”

 

“I’m Damage Control, we deal with crazy on a constant basis. Either you get used to it or you cope as best you can,” she shrugged, draining her cup. “In my case, I drink coffee, and a ton of it. Besides, I could’ve done a lot worse to you.”

 

He was quiet, “Why didn’t you? Why did you save me?”

 

She thought of her reasons from back then, and chose to be honest. Terra didn’t want someone to be grateful or kind to her just because she saved them, even if it was to her own benefit. “I suppose the first and foremost reason, at first, was because I didn’t want you to get off that easily. Death is a way out. Death’s realm is…Peaceful even. Maybe dying itself isn’t, but Death is kinder than most.”

 

The prince slowly nodded, and Terry was frankly surprised he was bothering to listen at all. “You mentioned that. How do you know Death?”

 

“How would anyone?” she almost whispered, gripping her cup uncomfortably to the point where her knuckles started to whiten. Sighing, she leaned back in her seat, meeting his curious gaze with her own. “As for the other reasons, how come you never told anyone someone else was in your head? That it wasn’t entirely you in charge? Do you just want everyone to hate you?”

 

This time, he paled. “How do you-?”

 

She tapped the corner of her eyes, “Maybe telepaths can’t easily picks up on it, but these eyes? I think I got them after my first meeting with Death. The best way any of us can describe what they do is that they can see life energy. Who knows? Maybe she took a shining to me or something, and I’ve got three lives left now according to her. In any case, what was in you at that time wasn’t just you. Someone else was there too.”

 

He was stiff, unmoving. She looked away, tired.

 

“Look, no one here is going to force you to say anything or do anything you don’t want to, but there’s a reason we’re not exactly ‘redeeming’ you either. You don’t want to be here, and you don’t want our help. I saved you that day not just because of the reasons I mentioned, but because I don’t let people die no matter how crappy they can be sometimes. But that doesn’t mean I can always save you, especially if you don’t want to be saved.”

 

She set down her cup, sliding it over to him with the skull facing him. The question in bother her eyes, and its own directed at the supposed deity were obvious even without words.

 

“Whether you realize it or not. You’re already drinking from that. You reek of it. It’s your choice of what to do with your poison, your fears, your hatred, etcetera. Either let it make you weak, or turn it into a strength. We’ll be waiting,” she stated, turning and walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a canon scene from my fanfiction, edited slightly for shipping purposes. It occurs in Hallowed Shapes: Wednesday, Chapter 19: Snowstorm's Lullaby.
> 
> Yeah, these two don't fall in love immediately, not with the issues they have.
> 
> Damage Control especially has a grudge against Loki since hero teams weren't popular when he invaded and that left Damage Control and SHIELD as the standby/cleanup crew thus, they suffered a lot of injuries and casualties as a result. So while Terra and Loki wouldn't quite be a Romeo and Juliet scenario, it's not the usual grudge romance either. They would have a lot to work out.


	5. Taphophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terra is willing to keep secrets of her own, but if one asks the right questions, she'll answer/tell the information someone needs about herself. Loki knows about what fates can await him, some he's more willing to tell than others.
> 
> Still, both have problems they're not quite willing to confront, even if they can admit such things. Question is, will they let those burdens bury them alive?

“You fools, Ragnarok is near!” Loki growled.”If it comes to pass-!”  
  


“You’ll be stuck underneath the Earth, chained by the intestines of one of your offspring that’s been changed into iron while the World Serpent drips venom onto you, thus making the Earth which is somehow the tether between the nine realms start tearing apart. And when you break free of your torment, everything falls apart, and we all die,” Terra summarized briefly. “Yes, I know I’m leaving out details, but that’s the basic idea, right? Then again, Earth myths and ideas about deities and Asgardians in general tend to be overly dramatic.”

 

As Loki gaped, Thor grunted, “This isn’t something to jest about.”

 

“No, I don’t think anyone being buried underground and being tortured for any amount of time for a number of years is funny at all, regardless of who they are or what they’ve done,” Terra stated, holding her arm. Her tone was off, her words shaking slightly, but not because of Thor. No, she still had that fire in her eyes, green or not. “What I’m trying to convey, and possibly failing at, is that we understand the stakes Loki. We’re not going to let it happen. I certainly won’t.”

 

There was a flash of something in her gaze, but her couldn’t identify what for it was gone as soon as it appeared. There was something in her tone that was familiar. Terra Barloc had always been sincere, careful with her words. Yet, in that moment while her words had been sincere, there was something else in them as well. It was the voice of experience, of knowledge gained not from a book or learning from others, but from trials and struggle. He was truly starting to wonder what this mortal had been through.

 

* * *

Loki could see Terry trembling underneath him as they hid, which was so unlike the fiery woman he had come to know. Her breathing was becoming erratic, eyes wide, and her scent contaminated with fear. Her pulse thundered against him and sweat began to glisten off her skin. She swallowed, pressing two fingers to her pulse as she shut her eyes and covered her mouth with the other hand.

“Barloc?" He whispered frantically. "Terra?!"

She shook her head, refusing to say anything until the immediate danger had passed. When it had, her shaking had grown worse, as had the rest of her physical condition. Her voice was hoarse, but cautiously quiet, the tone of it heart-tearing as she asked, “Please...Get off me.”

Never had the god heard her ask for something in such a manner, and he did not hesitate. “Are you alright?!”

Her breathing grew slightly easier as she swallowed, her expression marred by exhaustion and plagued by restlessness. One of her hands now dug into her arm, the nails biting into the flesh to the point where it started to break the skin. “No, but I’ll live. I uh, I have…” she breathed, smoothing down her hair as she fought to get the words out. “I have claustrophobia and a form of haphephobia. The first is a fear of closed spaces and the latter is physical contact with people. Some kinds of touching are okay but...I swear I’m trying to get better.”

She had hidden her face, obviously uncomfortable, and likely feeling ashamed not of the former, but more of the latter fear. Was it because claustrophobia was more common? Or because humans typically liked being touched? Loki wondered if she somehow felt inadequate due to it. After a moment, he shrugged, “I’ll try to be more cautious in the future. But, let me know if there’s something you’re not comfortable with, please?”

Terra hesitated, “Honestly, there are times where I’m sure your brother means well, but he can get a little more physical than I’d like sometimes.”

He grinned awkwardly, “I know. I can talk to him if you’d like?”

She opened the hatch, checking the area for any more danger, “No, it’s fine. Besides, I’m trying to get better, remember? There are many kinds of physical interactions that make me uncomfortable but few I really have bad reactions to. Sorry you had to see that one.”

He mentally noted she was still trembling. One of his instincts was to take her hand to comfort her when her realized, it may not be the best option. Seeing his confoundation, she snorted, taking his hand.

“This is fine. It’s full body contact and pressure like hugs or that sort that freak me out,” she said. “Handshakes, and small gestures can sometimes be a little weird, but they’re not bad. Don’t go changing around me just because you learned something you didn’t realize was there before. I’m still me, and this...It’s not new and it’s not that huge. Got it?”  
  
  
Loki sorely doubted that from how much her hands were trembling. And though she may have believed herself to be honest, he was the God of Lies after all. He tried to process how something so important to her wasn’t 'huge' in her perspective, but decided to respect her decision as they ran to escape the stone prison. Still, he couldn’t help but ponder if there was a reason for those particular phobias?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a canon scene from my fanfiction, edited slightly for shipping purposes. It occurs in Hallowed Shapes: Wednesday, Chapter 19: Snowstorm's Lullaby.
> 
> In this version, Loki knows about his prophecy and his possible future. Terra is also aware of her own possible fates of something bigger. 
> 
> So in a way I can kind of get why my Beta Reader might ship them. They have that major instance in common where they are afraid of being used for something devastating that they don't want to be involved in. Terra however, has already started her journey of redemption while Loki is struggling to find/start his.


	6. Save Me

_Prison gates won't open up for me_

 

If Terra Barloc saw anything different in him, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she waited and listened for him to speak, to say anything. Opening and closing his fists, he rasped, “Please...Help me. I don’t want to be like this anymore.”

 

_On these hands and knees I'm crawlin', oh, I reach for you_

 

She blinked, exhaling and putting her hands in her pocket. Then she mumbled, the first part he couldn’t tell if she were speaking more to herself or someone he couldn’t see. “I’m gonna die again, aren’t I?...All right, do you have a starting point in mind or do you want to figure that out together?”

 

_Well I'm terrified of these four walls these iron bars can't hold my soul in_

 

“Together?”

 

_All I need is you, come please I'm callin'_

 

Raising an eyebrow, she said, “I’m not doing all of this for you. You need to relearn how to carry your own weight and figure out how to face your problems. I can help you with parts of it, but not all. You need to take the first step. This is about you. We go at your pace.”

 

_And oh I scream for you, hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

 

He hesitated, “How did you start?”

 

_Show me what it's like to be the last one standing_

 

She didn’t appear bothered, but rather contemplative. “A member of Damage Control found me and took me in. I didn’t have a name or identity of any kind, and the few memories I had were...Unpleasant. He asked me what I wanted to be. I had to figure out from there. Do you know who you really are?”

 

_And teach me wrong from right and I'll show you what I can be_

 

“From what I hear, you could just tell me,” he chuckled bitterly.

 

_And say it for me, say it to me, and I'll leave this life behind me_

 

Terra shook her head, “Here’s what I see from everyone, Loki...People in general fixate on things from their past. Something of their memories whether it’s of one occurrence or something that repeats as a constant. It’s something that fits them, or something they molded to become. In other words, they choose who they are. Yes, I could tell you what I see in you, but what should matter is who you choose to be, and not what others tell you.”

 

_Say it if it's worth savin' me_

 

Absorbing her words, he inquired, “And, who did you choose to be?”

 

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me..._

 

“...I chose to be Terry Barloc, of Damage Control,” she said. “I chose to be the best I can be. I’m not fixed, not yet, and maybe I never will be, but I’m getting better.”

 

_With these broken wings I'm fallin' and all I see is you..._

 

Loki could tell she was still closed off, but he also knew if he pushed, she might be willing to tell. Yet, he still wanted some semblance of trust. Thinking of his options, he sighed, “I need to figure out...Who or what I am?”

 

_These city walls ain't got no love for me_

 

She smirked, “Well, I guess you did call yourself a prince when we first encountered one another...And you also called me pathetic but that’s besides the point-”

 

_And oh I scream for you,come please I'm callin', and all I need from you. hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'..._

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

_Show me what it's like to be the last one standing, and teach me wrong from right, and I'll show you what I can be…_

 

That caught her off guard, literally having her trip over air as she cast a suspicious glance at him. She made a cross with her fingers then. An odd choice considering he thought she didn’t practice a faith of any kind. “Okay, if you compliment me, I’ll be officially creeped out.”

 

_And say it for me, say it to me, and I'll leave this life behind me_

 

“I thought we were trying to change me?”

 

_Say it if it's worth savin' me..._

_  
_

“No, we’re trying to help you figure out your problem and deal with them so you can get better and, ergo, become a better person,” she said. “That doesn’t mean changing your personality or making you into something you’re not.”

_Hurry I'm fallin'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a canon scene from my fanfiction, edited MORE than slightly for shipping purposes. This version has more romantic undertones where the original doesn't and the lyrics (not there in the scene) are meant to address for both characters, not just Loki. It occurs in Hallowed Shapes: Wednesday, Chapter 19: Snowstorm's Lullaby.
> 
> The song is Nickelback's Savin' Me, which I do NOT own.
> 
> Whenever I pick a song for a chapter(s), I always do it with intent in mind. In this case, obviously they both need to be saved, even if only from themselves and the nightmares within their minds. Sadly, it's not always the people closest to us that can understand that, but those who have been through similar things.
> 
> Otherwise, I guess if people want to ship these two, maybe this is the real turning point where something would truly start to build.
> 
> EDIT: Well, it's kind of obvious what the song for this chapter is, but here's a link if anyone wants it.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JQiEs32SqQ&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm&index=4


	7. Mind and Body

Terra knew her head was nodding off at some point, but had forgotten when until her head hit the desk and she sat up, shouting, whilst falling out of her chair, “En garde vegemite!”

 

Finding herself on the floor face first, she groaned, “Ow.”

  
Yep, it really had been a typical week at Damage Control.  
  


“Terra? Why are you still here?”

 

Oh great, it was Loki. Wait, why was Loki here? “Could ask...Same, you.”

 

There was a pause. “...Terra, when was the last time you slept?”

 

Er, “Sleep, for weak?”

 

“I can’t tell if you’re trying to say if ‘sleep is for the weak’, or if you haven’t slept for a week.”

 

She hesitated. “Both? I think?” Moaning she slapped her face and dumped some more ice-cold water on her head, yelping and ignoring Loki’s frantic cry. Shivering and blowing a raspberry, she checked her watch, her vision was still slightly blurry. “Huh, make that eight days. Got paperwork to do.”

 

Terr got up then, wobbling as her knee hit the desk with a heavy, loud, thud.

 

“Ow.”

 

With that, she took another swig of her overly caffeinated Death Wish coffee and feeling more awake, began working again. To her surprise, she found Loki promptly taking away her pen, setting it on the desk, then picking her up, and carrying her away. Before she could utter a word, her took her phone from her pocket, and was talking to her boss.

 

“Ms. Chapel, are you aware that Ms. Barloc is still at work?”

 

“WHAT?!” Oh crap. “SHE’S STILL SUPPOSED TO BE ON SICK LEAVE!”

 

Huh, she was? “Whoops?”

 

“Mr. Friggason, you have my express permission, and on behalf of Lenny Ballinger, also known as her father, to get her home, and send her to bed! Please keep in mind what will happen if you push any boundaries though.”

 

“Yes, I understand completely and-” he paused. “Did you just call me Friggason?”

 

A new voice came on the line. “We understand that you dislike both of your...Supposed fathers’ names, but that you at least respect and care for your adoptive mother. Should we choose something else?”

 

The prince shook his head although only Terra could see him, “No, Friggason is, acceptable.”

 

“Treat her well. And Terr Bear, get rest.”

 

“Yeah Lenny,” she yawned, leaning her head against Loki’s shoulder, her vision too blurry to see his expression. “See you in the morning.”

 

“Try afternoon, it’s already morning.”

 

Her brain was too foggy to think. Or speak. Or…

 

When she woke again, they were outside her apartment, and Loki was talking to someone. It was Raoul. They sounded, concerned? She was too tired to open her eyes though, and she couldn’t move even if she tried. Utterly paralyzed, she tried not to listen, but she ended up hearing anyways.

 

“...She saved my life you know. There was a vampire hunter after me. She was scared, terrified. A strange man in her newly bought apartment and all, and with her past? But, she still confronted me, tried to give me the benefit of the doubt and, she was kind even when afraid. She was a kid then, this scrawny thing. She didn’t ask for anything, she didn’t want anything from me, so the most I can do is guard her home,” Raoul said.

 

Terra felt a hair pushed back.

 

“But even nowadays she doesn’t sleep, nor does she...I’m worried that someday, she’s going to break, and in more ways than we’ll ever understand, that she won’t come back from,” Raoul admitted. “I know she’s mortal, that they all fall, but...There are some you can’t help but want to keep safe.”

 

Loki was quiet, “What was she like as a child?”

 

There was a chuckle, “This kid was one hell of a trickster. She pranked everyone. She was rebellious, and merciless. She cursed a lot too, unless Lenny was around. Even then she found ways to curse in other languages. She was clever, but severely anti-social. Not to mention a bit of a daredevil...Sometimes we wondered if she was suicidal honestly. But, she was also really caring. Do you know what tsundere is? She was one of those. She acted tough, but had a soft heart.”

 

His tone turned remorseful, “But, there were also moments that she seemed, far older than she should have been. I don’t mean her eyes, you know how they glow and have that ancient feel to them? I mean, like she has experiences that made her older than she should be. She was only a teen but, she felt so much older, even to a vampire like me, and I’m centuries old. I can’t recall how many times she’s given me advice.”

 

“So, she has always been brazen?”

 

“Oh, she’s fairly humble...Yet I think she’s outward and speaks when she knows there’s something that needs to be said,” Raoul stated. “She’s not afraid to speak her mind because, she does her best to be honest, even when she’s afraid.”   
  
He suddenly burst in silent, hiccuping laughter.   
  
“You should’ve seen it, the short girl bossing around three giant men wielding weapons covered in blood and leather...Somehow she was still frightening enough that we listened though and lowered our weapons, and she didn’t have to use her powers. I swear, nobody, and I mean nobody, was going to question that little girl’s authority in that moment, even when she was wearing frilly pink pajamas.”

 

There was a sigh, “Anyways, you should get her to bed. I’m just surprised she’s slept for this long. Normally she’s up and screaming by now.”

 

“...Up and screaming?”

 

Terra didn’t have to see to know her friend was frowning, “She has nightmares. Her past haunts her, and the ones who hurt her...I don’t know how much has been divulged to you and it’s not my place even if she doesn’t keep it a secret, but Terra’s powers? She’s a mutate, and those abilities were forced onto her without her consent when she was a child through unnatural means. The trauma from it follows her, as do the death and scars from it. Ask if you want, but keep in mind what such questions may do.”

 

Wait, were they all hiding her past from other people. No wonder everyone was so bloody confused! But, it wasn’t as if she could just tell everyone. Just imagining telling everyone she knew made her stomach growl, making her feel ill. The men became quiet then, both groaning.

 

“When was the last time she ate?” Oh right, she was also hungry. And for some reason, her consciousness was separate from her body as the latter began acting on its own. She instinctively began mumbling while nibbling Loki’s ear and part of his neck. Raoul began laughing, clapping his hands. “And I thought I was supposed to be the vampire!”

 

“Help me,” Loki grumbled, yelping a little as Terra bit him, leaving more than a hickey mark. Inside, her mind was screaming in mortification. Gently prying her off, there was a movement and Raoul let out a cry of pain. Terra guessed that the prince stomped on Raoul’s foot. “You, make food. And I’ll, put her in bed.”

 

“I’m a vampire, you think I remember how to make mortal food?”

 

“I’m a god and royalty, do you think I know how to make food?”

 

At a standstill, Raoul sighed, “Okay, she has several cookbooks in there. Some are way too advanced for either one of us, but if needed, she has a laptop in there. I have a password to one of the spare accounts. I can find the recipe to something simple...Like broth or soup. I think she’s mentioned that’s good for people with weakened immune systems or stuff like that.”

 

“Fine, just don’t poison her.” Terra was screwed. So very screwed. She could sense the prince looking at her apartment as they entered with Raoul’s spare key. “It’s...Very spacious in here.”

 

“Yep, she spends most of her time at the office and isn’t much of someone to keep personal stuff. Well, besides movies or reading maybe. I’ve been in her room a couple of times. The first time was when she caught the flu. Ballinger, her dad, had to be called in for an emergency shift and asked me to watch her. The second time she had been stabbed in the eyes at the Xavier Institute and needed to recover. She learned how to live being blind for a few good months, but it wasn’t easy at first.”

 

Terry found herself feeling the atmosphere of her room, and heard Loki inhale. “She’s...Got glow-in-the-dark stars in here?”

 

“...She hates the dark. She’s, claustrophobic and-”

 

“Haphephobic,” Loki finished, as though recalling a memory, his grip loosening on her sightly as he laid her onto the bed. “Everything about her home is, spacious.”

 

She heard his footsteps as he glanced around, fingering her books carefully. Raoul spoke then, “She wouldn’t mind if you borrowed them you know. She lets kids, and me, read them. Heck, some een stole them. She was disappointed, but...I think she’s happier when someone reads them.”

 

“There’s no dust,” Loki commented. “She takes good care of them.”

 

Raoul was probably shrugging even as she heard clattering from the kitchen, though he struggled to muffle it. “I think, she finds sanctuary in them. They’re a safe place. So if others find safe places in them, even if it hurts her, she doesn’t want anyone else to feel as she once had.”

 

The prince stopped moving. “...What happened to her?”

 

Terr could hear Raoul swallow. “That’s not my story to tell. But, I’ll just say for now that some bad people got to her, and people like her when she was younger.”

 

She fought her body to wake up, but her stomach only growled louder. There were sudden clattering noises in the kitchen and she heard the clicking noises of her oven combined with water from the sink being turned on. Something akin to vegetables to being cooked.

 

“How is this mortal even alive?” Loki grumbled.

 

“To quote a famous sorceress, ‘Sheer dumb luck’,” Raoul remarked.

 

Terry finally found strength in her body to move. Well, kind of. “Why does my head hurt?”

 

“You nearly impaled upon your work desk,” Loki explained.

 

Her body reacted before her mind did, leaping into the air. What the hell was wrong with her?! Loki caught her then, and her body tensed, she screeched, kicking him and punching him in the nose as her vision came back. He groaned in pain as Raoul laughed, getting an ice pack from the freezer and handing it to the prince.

 

Terra moved quickly to aid him, quickly stuttering out apologies as her senses tried to put everything together, but then her limbs and abdomen her, causing her to pull into a fetal position on the ground as her eyes flickered, burning green flames as she cried out in pain. Suddenly, both men reached for her, Raoul touching her forehead.

 

“Shit Terra, you have a fever. Prince Loki, can you grab some more ice packs from the freezer? We need to cool her body down,” the vampire exclaimed. The prince moved without hesitating and Raoul picked her up, placing her on the bed once more, “Child, why do you do this?”

 

As she fell back into slumber, memories of the past plagued her and Terr couldn’t help but think of how much she truly hated her mind and body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Wednesday, between Chapter 21:Piece of Mind and Chapter 22: Moon Child.
> 
> Terra Barloc + sleep deprivation = bad.
> 
> The Beta Reader asked for something kinky...Lo and behold, Loki, vampires, and nom noms. Happy?
> 
> EDIT: The ending song for this chapter would be the ending for Piece of Mind since it takes place between the arcs. Oddly enough, it's kind of fitting. It's Bob Dylan's Can't Wait.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbUlkyGWQ2E&index=5&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm


	8. A Tangible Topic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terra will always answer questions that are hers to give, but we may not like what we hear.

Loki had gone stiff for some reason. Terry tilted her head, “Something wrong?”

 

“How...How does one get haphephobia?”

 

She knew the answer, she rehearsed it for years at the back of her mind and to her reflection, sometimes to other people. Yet, for some reason, it didn’t seem quite the same now. Not with him. “Most of the time, it doesn't happen for a known reason. Most of the time, people are born with those fears if they have them. The few causes that are known are normally because of a past trauma, typically found in childhood.”

 

Terr had spoken as factually as possible, trying not to let any emotion out. However, especially for a god of tricksters who was known to be cunning and manipulative, it wouldn’t take long to figure out the implications combined with all that he knew. She didn’t look him in the eye, knowing her eyes were likely the more brown hue when she had spoken, the more human color for her. She didn’t want to see his face when he figured it out. She didn’t want the pity. She was sick of it.

 

“...I see.” He knew, it was in his tone. Or at the very least, he had a very good idea and refused to say it. In some ways, she wanted to thank him for it, in others, she knew he might never view her the same way again. “You said it was all right for us to hold hands?”

 

She nodded, jumping slightly as his fingers started to intertwine with hers. When he paused, likely unsure, she returned the gesture, clinging slightly more than she probably should have. After thinking a moment, knowing that if she didn’t acknowledge her problems in some way, Loki may not want to, she inhaled and slowly exhaled. “Like I said, the few memories I have aren’t exactly pleasant.”

 

His grip tightened. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Not really, I’ve talked about what I remember to so many people from police, to SHIELD, Damage Control and…” Her sentence broke off, her words getting lost. Her free hand tapped the corner of her eyes like they did whenever she reminded people of her abilities or warned them what she was capable of. It had become so common a gesture though, she had begun to wonder if it had lost its meaning. “My eyes are tied to the place where it all happened. So no matter what, I can’t forget it no matter how much I try. I’m just, tired.”

 

Rarely had she admitted such things out loud. She mentioned it to Lenny and Abigail, but the former was her father and the latter was the one she joined minds with regularly so she had felt a need to protect the one who went into the darker areas there. Telling someone outside her real thoughts, wasn’t easy.

 

The smell of salt and the sensation of something wet hit her hand. Terry finally looked up at Loki, shocked to see his tears. She murmured his name and he uttered, “How, how do I-?”

 

She smiled softly, bittersweetly, closing her burning eyes as she tried to think of something more pleasant “You can’t fight my demons for me, big guy. No one can. I’ll face them every day for as long as I live, but I will live unlike how they wanted me to. For now, I wouldn’t mind just for someone being next to me for a few minutes if that’s okay.”

 

His grip tightened, not enough to hurt, but enough to reassure her she wouldn’t be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a canon scene from my fanfiction, and it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Wednesday, somewhere in Chapter 21:Piece of Mind or Chapter 22: Moon Child.
> 
> There's an aspect of Terra's past that I am unsure of whether or not I will ever directly confirm nor deny this within the story because I am wary of how well I handled/wrote it, but this scene is canon in the series and I hope it's subtle enough.


	9. A Monster's Hands

“Is the real reason you drink caffeine just to ‘get high’, or is it to avoid sleep?”

 

Terra blinked, thinking for a moment. “I think at first it really was just to get some feeling, but maybe it evolved into a little of both? I’m not sure. Maybe I’m in denial?”

 

She lowered her cup, raking a hand through her hair as she sighed, knowing the bags under her eyes were visible in the candlelight. She chuckled then, leaning her head back against the chair with a soft, dull thump, not minding the ache that came with it. Loki uttered, “Would you be willing to talk about it?”

 

Terr shrugged, “It’s not a secret, Loki. I mean, I don’t know who I used to be but...You already know the story of why they took us, what they tried to make us into, what they made me into."  
  
  
Her eyes burned bright for a moment and she exhaled. Terra clenched her hands, swallowing. The candlelight flickered, burning brighter in the dark, the wax lowering faster now. Her body was tense as she fought to admit the same thing to him what she'd known as a possibility for years. "...There are far too many bodies that I want to count that were down there. But I went back as often as I could, helping them to try to find peace with...”

 

Turning to him, she hesitated, and touched the corner of her eye, which glowed briefly. It was a common gesture, but somehow her arm and fingers felt heavier now. “Problem is...Since I’m the only survivor, and we’re not entirely sure what these abilities are...I don’t know if that means I am human at all, or exactly what they made me into."

 

Pouting, she murmured, “I could potentially be ticking time bomb waiting to happen and the only thing that helps me get a little sleep is the knowledge that I’m doing something good, and that if I go bad, that Damage Control and a whole world of heroes can…”

 

Terra pressed her forehead into her hands, unable to finish her sentence. Loki understood her words. “...You don’t expect to live into your age, do you?”

 

“No Loki, I fully expect that some  _thing_  like me will die young,” she croaked, shuddering. “And knowing me, it’ll probably be slow. I just hope, I hope I won’t be a monster when I do. That is, if I'm not already. It's hard to tell these days.”

 

He carefully took her hand then, rubbing one of them. When she looked at him in confusion, he whispered hoarsely, “You’re pale, and cold as ice.”

 

She smiled a little. “Coming from frost giant, that’s a bad thing?”

 

“Very,” he replied. There was a pause. “...I used to be afraid of being the monster in Asgard once I found out what I truly was. Now I’m a monster there, and here.”

 

“I don’t think you’re a monster,” she said without hesitating, earning a look she couldn’t recognize. “Nor does your brother, or your mother. Then there’s Sif, the Warriors Three-”

 

He rolled his eyes and she giggled.

 

“You annoy and anger them, but I doubt they think you a monster after all you’ve been through,” she confided.

 

The man stilled, looking at her hands that were still covered in scuff marks and small wounds. She knew they weren’t the typical hands he had seen for ladies of a court or maybe even for maids in the palace. The former would be soft and well tended to, and latter toughened from labor. Not even warriors like Sif, who would bear calluses from training and battle, would have admirable hands, would have such rough and worn palms as these. No, these were marked from other things.

 

These hands were full of burns, and scratches and pains she was too careless to name. Years of working in and out of the field, of trying to do her best to do the right thing and often failing. These were hands that had been covered in others’ blood more times than she could count and it took so much effort not to tear them out of Loki’s hands, resisting the urge because though she knew that she wasn’t staining him as illogical as it was, her mind was screaming she was. He wasn’t a paragon, but she wasn’t a saint either.

 

Loki stroked one line, a scar, “What’s this one from?”

 

She thought for a moment, “A knife.”

 

He was quiet when she didn’t specify who had cut her. His hands shaking in hers. It took effort not to see his emotions with her abilities, but somehow she knew, he was angry and confused rather than afraid. Maybe protective? That was puzzling. Sensing his question, she answered, “I was, maybe, thirteen? Because I don’t know my real identity, I’ll never know my true age. Hydra sent someone to kidnap me, or kill me pending they couldn’t do the former...I was frightened when they attacked Lenny and…”

 

Terra knew the green in her eyes were disappearing. “I spoke about what I saw in the assassin without thinking. They turned their blade onto themselves. I tried to stop them, and caught my hand in the knife. Afterwards we got them help, but, I...I’m not entirely sure what I was thinking. Mostly it was guilt though, and I cut the blade into my hand more, apologizing to the assassin again and again for what I’d done to them, for losing control.”

 

Loki’s hand squeezed, his thumb brushing, stroking the scar. “What, what happened to them?”

 

“...They lived, they forgave me for reasons I still don’t understand, and they’re a member of Damage Control now,” she said softly. “We’re good friends.”

 

There was more to the story, but that was private. Loki soothed the scar, tracing others as he went. “And this one?”

 

“I think I got that one when I was scaling a building,” she murmured, furrowing her eyebrows. “No, wait, that was when part of a building fell on top of me...It was when we met.”

 

“Back when you saved my life,” he stated, his eyes studying the mark intently.

 

She snorted, “Don’t get soft on me because of that.”

 

To her shock, he actually kissed that mark, causing her to stiffen. Her looked up at her, and it was then she realized he had been kneeling before her that whole time as he held her hands. If someone had walked by and seen how they were, they’d probably get the wrong impression. He leaned back, flushing.

 

“I apologize if I-”

 

Terra grinned, deciding to brush it off. After all, he wasn’t that sure. “Trying to kiss my boos boos away?”

  
He rolled his eyes at her joke, and she could tell he was holding back far too many sexual innuendos on her account. “Any more from me I should know about?”  
  


She stilled, frowning for a fraction of a second before standing, dusting herself off. He called her name and she sighed. “I get hurt all the time, Loki. I can take it. Don’t worry, please.”

 

Loki caught her hand then, “How have I hurt you?”

 

Terra, feeling lost for a moment, hesitated, frowning. Damn it, she couldn’t let him be hurt because of something she did. How does she explain so many times with just...One phrase or explanation? When he saw her struggling, he looked guiltier.

 

“Loki, I...Damn it. Please understand, people hurt each other all the time, usually unintentionally. It’s not, it’s not your fault, okay? There are times where...I’m just uncomfortable around magic and a few other things, all right? Don’t stop being yourself. I can deal with it. I don’t hate magic. I just...Have issues. Massive issues. Issues that can make you literally see things, things that aren't there.”

 

His eyes widened as he understood what she was getting at. Before he could speak, she walked over, and gestured towards his hands, “May I?”

 

He held them up, but instead of inspecting his pink, pale marks, she studied the blue ones, tracing the lines and circular patterns there. He was like stone, jaw clenched.

 

“I can stop if you want.”

 

“No I just, forgot you could see my true form...You see it all the time, don’t you?”

 

“Mm-hmm,” she hummed. “Can I ask about your form or not?”

 

Silence met her, then he whispered. “Yes.”

 

“First I’ll let you in on a little secret to make this less tense...Abigail found your SHIELD photos where they took your shirt off. She showed it to some members of Damage Control during an event to somewhat embarrass me since I was stressed at the time and to gauge my sexuality,” Terra admitted, turning over his palm. “There were other pictures too of historical figures, of both men and women. For fun we put Namor in a dress and I absolutely refused to look at Thor. He’s more of a coworker.”

 

“But you still looked at me?” Loki said, raising an eyebrow.

 

She shrugged, “That was a surprise, and many people had mixed feelings. But, here’s the thing, my vision let’s me see parts of true forms or symbols even within pictures. So…”

 

Loki began blushing and with his free hand he buried his face, groaning. “Oh gods no…”

 

“Yep,” Terra teased lightly, the P making a popping noise at the end. “You should’ve heard the whistling and squealing when the audience pressured me into telling them that some lines traveled below the waistband. You have massive fanclub.”

 

The prince was evidently mortified. “You vile wench.”

 

“I wasn’t the perverse one, at least at that time. The security footage can show that. I was just confused by your anatomy honestly. I mean, what is the purpose of these anyway?” Terra asked, trailing her nails lightly against the lines in his skin. “For humans, they used to be for helping grip onto things but I can’t think of an evolutionary reason for you. I’m sorry.”

 

“...Attracting mates?” Loki offered.

 

“Well, it’s certainly attracting some people here on Earth,” she laughed. Then, right before her eyes, his skin truly turned blue. He nearly leapt away, but to both their amazement, she didn’t freeze in his touch. She was still growing cold, but no harm. “...Huh. I, didn’t do that.”

 

The prince blinked, “No, you didn’t.”

 

She grinned childishly, “Oh cool, er pardon the unintended pun, but your nails are black? That’s awesome!”

 

“And yours are white, at least at the ends,” he commented, both exploring simultaneously. “Wait, do you bite them?”

 

“No, I just happen to damage them easily, why?”

 

He frowned, “I’m getting you a mani-pedi.”

 

“What?” Wrinkling her nose, she tried not to be offensive. “Um, I’m not sure how well I can handle being in one place, being touched by total strangers for so long…”

 

“Fine, I'll give you one,” he stated. Then he stuttered, and she never imagined someone so charismatic as him could do such a thing, "I mean, if you're all right with it."  
  
  
Deciding to take a chance, Terra snorted, "Well, I won't find out unless I try, won't I?"

 

Their hands were still holding on and for a moment, she allowed herself to enjoy the feel her hands in his. Maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to trust someone like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Wednesday, during Chapter 23: Columbine Flowers.
> 
> I'm trying not to give away too many spoilers and/or details because this is an AU and there are some details that can tie into the original Hallowed Shapes universe that haven't been posted yet.
> 
> EDIT: The ending song for this chapter is Lauren Aquilina's King not just because it's catchy, but because as I've mentioned before, prefer to pick songs that fit more than one character, and this works for both of them.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS5GfL9F7L4&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm&index=6


	10. Something Magical

It was obvious others noticed something had changed between them. How could they not? Loki couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Terra, she would express herself more freely with him, and their body language was more than enough indication as well. Terra, as was known fact in Damage Control and many parts of SHIELD, didn’t like being touched...Yet there she was, tugging on Loki’s hand to show him things, not showing any sign of annoyance or tension when he placed a hand on her back, or the strangest of all, there were even times where he would hug her or vice versa. Sometimes, without having to verbally ask. There were still signs, silent questions, but they somehow still knew.

 

And yet, the biggest change had to be after one fateful evening, when they came to entrust each other the most…

 

“I don’t know about this Loki,” she murmured, looking at the book in front of them. She was hesitant as he stood next to her, his arm brushing hers. “I...I’ve never even attempted magic because…”

 

Terra couldn’t even bring herself to finish the sentence, her eyes flaring between green and brown in morbid fear. How odd was it, that one of her closest friends, and someone she could trust, was both a magic practitioner, and someone that once greatly desired power? Those elements were things she should fear and despise and yet, here they stood.

 

He gave her a sympathetic look, pressing his cool, blue forehead against hers, “Easy, we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

 

“...But this is your world, right?” she asked, grimacing. “I mean, you enjoy magic, right? Your mother likes it, and so do so many others and, for some reason it doesn’t have to hurt and…”

 

Her hands were trembling, and she shuddered, shutting her eyes before opening them, tears falling. He cupped her cheeks, wiping them away.

 

“No, it doesn’t have to, but that doesn’t mean we force ourselves either,” he murmured. “Magic, is a resplendent thing when we allow ourselves to learn from it, to enjoy its wonders. It can be a way to relate to those around us, to understand things we didn’t before, open our minds. But at the same time, one must tread carefully and use it wisely so that it does less harm and more good. There are also those who don’t like it at all or may never use it and that’s fine as well.”  
  
  


Slowly, her hand fell over his, gripping it tightly as she seeked reassurance. “...It, it doesn’t matter I suppose, but does it hurt?”

 

He had to resist the strong urge to embrace her. Instead, he gently squeezed back. “Of course it matters, Terra. It should never hurt, and it won’t. I promise, it will never hurt with me...I will never harm you, never on purpose.”

 

She began to smile, and it truly hit him how much trust she was placing in him as she put both her hands in his. He lead her forward then. They both walked together to the spell book, and he moved behind her, feeling her stiffen before relaxing. Guiding her, he was mindful of the spaces between them as he showed her how to make a light spell, and adoring how she lit up, beaming at the sight of the butterfly appearing from her hand, and the joyous tears that followed.

 

Even more so, he loved how she embraced him, and asked for him to teach her more. He was certainly more than glad to. They spent that entire afternoon, enjoying one another's company in laughter and learning about one another's joy and sorrows as they exchanged tales. He showed her magic was a beautiful thing, and maybe she showed him, that learning to trust others wasn't so bad either. For the first time in a long one, holding someone wasn't so scary, painful, or unnerving.  
  
  
It was...Rather nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Thursday, somewhere between Chapter 5: The Swallow's Song and Chapter 8: The Forest.


	11. To Trust

Terry sipped her hot cocoa, which Loki was openly surprised wasn’t laced with something a lot stronger. She snorted, “I can enjoy other things every once in awhile.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“I like cooking, and no, it’s not over spiced. I love making paella when I have the time for it,” she beamed.

 

He tilted his head, arm casually on the seat behind her. “Paella?”

 

“It’s a rice dish with various meats, typically seafood, sometimes rabbit, chicken...You basically make it with a type of sofrito and ugh, I’m just rambling with terms that aren’t helping. Sorry,” she grumbled, flushing with embarrassment as he chuckled at her. “But, it tastes really good when you cook it with pine wood and the flavor just seeps into the food. It’s no ambrosia or piece of the heavens, but it is wonderful.”

 

Loki beamed, “I didn’t know you could be this passionate about cooking.”

 

He almost laughed as she turned an even brighter red, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. This side of her was endearing. “Well...I uh...I experimented a lot when I was a teen because...I wanted to be able to do something on my own and, I don’t know, cooking just kind of felt right.”

 

“So why did you stay with Damage Control then?”

 

She shrugged, “You can be passionate or good at something without it having to become a dream or something to guide your life. Honestly, I just want to make some good meals for those I care about.”

 

“And Damage Control? Why was that your dream?”

 

This time, she didn’t hesitate. “Because I didn’t want someone else to feel like I did, and I wanted them to learn how to get back up again…”

 

Her voice broke off near the end, as if she wanted to say something, but was afraid to. He waited for her to finish whatever it was, but she only smiled, offering to refill his mug. Though disappointed, he wouldn’t push. “No thank you. I’d much rather sit here with you.”

 

Confusion marred her expression, wrinkling up her nose, “Why? I’m not the most pleasant company.”

 

“Frankly my dear, especially with the mistletoe out everywhere, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” he uttered, flinching as he realized how she might interpret it. “Not that I wouldn’t want to kiss-”

 

She hadn’t even noticed the second sentence. If she had, she chose not to comment, “Oh right. I studied up on Norse myths when I was younger. Not sure exactly how much of it is applicable to the situation since you’re supposed to be a fire god and somehow Thor is supposed to be one of fertility, but I get the mistletoe thing.”

 

Him, a fire deity? “Oh. Is that why you don’t-?”

 

“I don’t hang it up at all,” she said. “One, it stinks. Two, the tradition is stupid and kind of awkward. I don’t want to kiss someone on the pretense of tradition. Three, it’s pretty much the same as hanging balls around.”

 

He began coughing, laughing too. “Right, they represent fertility and genitalia.”

 

“So to kiss under them means…” She began making a shaking up and down gesture with her circled fingers touching the side of her thumb. He almost laughed, almost. “Don’t tell some people though, they either won’t get it or they’ll be traumatized. Please Loki, I mean it.”

 

Rolling his eyes, he made an x over his heart, “How did you know that anyway?”

 

“I had to study symbolism to figure out what the hell I see on a day to day basis. It makes it easier to figure out who to trust sometimes,” she mumbled, her eyes flickering a bit as she spoke.

 

He hesitated, “Do you trust me?”

 

The prince doubted she would, and he wouldn’t blame her. He wouldn’t get upset. Yet again though, she took him by surprise, and perhaps, she surprised herself as well. “Yes. Is that okay?”

 

Terra’s eyes looked so tentative, so fragile in those few seconds, but...They were almost entirely brown with only a few flecks of green. The light in them showed an open honesty, a vulnerability that was rare. Was it okay to trust him? Most would say no, but they would likely be missing the point. She was asking for his permission that she could place her trust in him, for his friendship, for a bond. It could be considered childish, maybe even foolish for someone like her to offer such a thing to someone like him, but in some ways, it was also incredibly brave.

 

“...I would like that,” he softened, being sincere. “Very much.”

 

Something about her was glowing, radiant as her cautious evaporated and a different kind of smile took place. He wanted to see more of it. Even more so, seeing the bags under her eyes, he wanted her to be if not happier, more content. He wanted her to feel safer. He wanted...He wouldn’t push, but he would ask.

 

“...Terra, may I sleep beside you tonight?”

 

…

..

.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Thursday, somewhere between Chapter 14: Clouds and Chapter 18: Goggles.
> 
> I know Loki doesn't probably follow the same ideas about crossing the heart, but he's trying to make a promise and I think that's what counts here.


	12. So Close

Terra had been quiet for a long time and just as Loki had been about to retract his offer, she shakily, trembling all the while, took a step closer and held his hand. He tensed, but squeezed back, “Terra?”

 

“...Yes.”

 

She was giving him explicit permission. Still, he was only going to touch her by the hands until he knew what she was okay with. He wasn’t going to touch her as long as she was trembling like this. He needed her to take charge. Slowly, he led her to the bed and lay down on it, waiting for her. She paused, but sat next to him, still a small space a away before having their sides touch, her knees still drawn to her chest. Her could feel her anxious heart pounding. Carefully, he intertwined their fingers once more and her heart started to calm to a more pleasant rhythm.

 

“...We’re just sharing the same bed Terra,” he murmured gently. “Nothing more, nothing less, but if you don’t feel comfortable at any time, I can leave or stop whatever you want me to,” he reassured her.

 

She nodded, her eyes softening, “I know. My mind knows. Just trying to convince everything else.”

 

Terra inhaled then, steeling herself, “Can I hug you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

She wrapped her arms around him, her heart pounding so quickly it reminded him of a hummingbird’s wings.

 

_You're in my arms, and all the world is calm_

 

They lay down, with him, gently holding her back, and rubbing slightly but never going near her waist nor anywhere else that may seem inappropriate.

 

_The music playing on for only two_

 

His head, his chin, rested at the top of her head at first, until she murmured, “I’m sorry but, I need to see you.”

 

He lowered his head, her pulse slowing a little, though she seemed a little disappointed. That’s when he understood what she meant, but also knew she wouldn’t push for it.

 

_So close together, and when I'm with you_

 

After a moment, he exhaled, his naturally blue skin overwhelming the normal pale kind that most knew. Crimson gaze met near pure brown for the first time. Now, both of them were truly vulnerable to one another as Jotun met the near powerless human. But, she didn’t know how much power she truly held, did she?

 

_So close to feeling alive_

 

Said brown eyes widened in surprise before gentling by the smile he’d come to adore. Carefully, making sure she was able to push him away at any moment, he pressed his forehead to hers, their breaths mingling in the small space between them that appeared to shrink with every second.

 

_A life goes by, romantic dreams must die_

 

The exhaustion was becoming more and more apparent in her features before finally, she shut her eyes, her body loosening as she fell into a deep slumber almost within seconds. Yet, her hand still lingered tightly in his, almost like a lifeline. The problem was, he couldn’t tell between them which was the lifeline anymore, as he too, fell into sleep.

 

_So I bid mine goodbye and never knew_

 

When he woke, their limbs were entangled, and she was still sound asleep.

 

_So close was waiting, waiting here with you_

 

The bags under her eyes had lessened, if only slightly. Not wanting to waken her, but still curious, he carefully raised a hand to her cheek, stroking a thumb over the flesh. She felt oddly cool to the touch, worrying him.

 

_And now forever I know_

 

To collapse so easily, and around him, she must have truly been exhausted. How hard had she been working? How many hours? How...Didn’t she know she was only mortal?

 

_All that I want is to hold you so close_

 

He didn’t dare go any further, not without her wanting him to or fear or waking her from her slumber. Of course, that’s when he realized her brown eyes had opened, and that their faces were incredibly close.

 

_So close to reaching that famous happy end_

 

She smelled like a strange combination of something like fruit and baked goods mixed with hints of smoke like from a forest. Right, she liked cooking. How had he not noticed before? Shaking himself mentally out of his reverie, he pulled back a little, surprised slightly when she smiled.

 

_Almost believing this one's not pretend_

 

“You’re robbing all the blankets,” she whispered.

 

_Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come_

 

He blushed, fixing the covers so she would be warmer, “Don’t like the cold?”

 

_So far we are so close_

 

“Not that, just wanna share for a bit longer,” she mumbled, snuggling closer as she closed her eyes once more.

 

_Oh how could I face the faceless days if I should lose you now?_

 

His heart fluttered as it took him a moment to piece her jumbled,almost unintelligible babble together.

 

_We're so close to reaching that famous happy end_

 

“It feels nice.”

 

_Almost believing this one's not pretend_

 

Obviously, she was not quite awake, but the words warmed him still.

 

_Let's go on dreaming though we know we are_

 

As she quickly drifted back to sleep, he kissed her fingers,the scar on her palm, and then her forehead before holding her close. He didn’t know exactly when he had come to love for the mortal, but he did know that when he held her tonight...

 

_So close, so close, and still so far_

 

He didn’t want to let go.

 

When she finally, truly woke up, her eyes were brown, utterly brown. Yet, the brown was different than he recalled. Yes, there was the growing vulnerability that he was slowly growing accustomed to, but at the same time, something of a youthful innocence in her gaze, as well as other emotions he hadn’t been able to see in her eyes before. The flecks of green, of course, remained, but they were becoming less and less noticeable all the time. Somehow, they felt warm, kind. He wanted to see more of them, more from them.

 

“Did you rest well?”

 

She blinked, confused before nodding, “Yeah...I think I did. I…”

 

Tears fell from her eyes and he raised his hands frantically to try to wipe them away until he saw she was laughing at the same time. “Terra?”

 

“I, I haven’t dreamed in...I don’t even know the last time I dreamed, Loki,” she cried, hiccuping a little. “I...If there is something I’m constantly reliving the same events every time I sleep and last night I didn’t and...What if I...What if I can’t dream again?”

 

He embraced her then, holding her tight before he could remember the boundaries that frightened her. Recalling them, he started to pull away immediately, apologizing but she held on tightly, and it felt like something inside her was breaking. The sensation was horrifying, and he held on, trying to keep her together as best he could.

 

“You’ve never dreamed?” he asked gently, rubbing her back.

 

“I didn’t think I could,” she admitted, trembling.

 

He hesitated, “What did you dream of last night?”

 

She paused, “I...I don’t even remember it all but, I think I was happy in it. Safe. I...Gods, it felt so nice. I…”

 

He waited, letting her gather her thoughts.

 

“I was in a park. It, it was cold, maybe brisk is a better term but, I liked it. I, I think I was really young, maybe a kid?” She sat back, furrowing her eyebrows as she concentrated. “For some reason, I don’t know why, but I was happy because, I had a book with me. I can’t remember the text, it was all blurred but...It was barely dawn and I was reading by candlelight. It wasn’t a big moment, or something absolutely fantastic, but...I was happy, Loki. I miss it.”

 

They just sat there, holding each other. After a moment, she inquired, “Loki, do you dream?”

 

“Sometimes,” he said hoarsely. “But, not of the same things you might. I’m sorry.”

 

She shook her head, “The mind’s a funny place. We can’t always control it...Thank you, for being here.”

 

He nose drifted over her the juncture of her neck and shoulder, before placing his forehead there, fighting the urge to break down. People like her didn’t deserve hardships like this. Shouldn’t have to depend on people like him just to feel safe or even sleep at night within the sanctity of their own homes. 

  
  
“Compared to what you have done for me, this is nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Beta Reader/shipper in question is also a major fan of a certain Disney movie *cough cough* to which the song starred in. Which reminds me, So Close is written by Alan Menken, Stephen Schwartz, and performed by Jon McLaughlin. I do NOT own it.
> 
> I am aware that this song, by its lyrics, is meant to illustrate a romance that is not supposed to occur or that there are complications, for example yearning or a one-sided romance, but in this case its meant to demonstrate growing feelings and uncertainty between the two as they're growing closer, as well as the obvious connotations of how normally they are both uncomfortable to allow anyone close on both an emotional and physical level.
> 
> Without rambling too much, they've both been hurt rather badly in the past, Loki's for known reasons, and because of this, it's not just letting someone in that's difficult, it's believing someone would ever want to get close that's an issue, especially when it comes to who and what they really are. So, for any romance to work, for either side, that really needs to be acknowledged in some shape or form.
> 
> This is kind of my gift to the crazy shippers who like the idea of my OC and Loki for reasons I didn't fathom until more recently. It's NOT canon in Hallowed Shapes though I may hint at something at the possibility within the story.
> 
> EDIT: Here's the link to So Close if anybody's interested.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2WHo5bGRNw&index=7&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm


	13. Distraction AKA We Are Ghosts

Terra was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking out at the stars with anxiety. Loki sat next to her, smiling gently, “Nervous?”

 

“Let’s see, the entire fate of my world is resting in my hands and I’m also going to be locked up in a small metal container, a person who is known to have problems with small spaces and physical contact, for a number of weeks?” she deadpanned, giving him a droll expression. “What little questionable sanity I have is being pushed to its limits, more so than usual.”

 

“That does appear to happen often,” he conceded sagely. “But, perhaps being stuck here won’t be so awful?”

 

“I’m not saying it’ll be awful, just...Difficult,” she struggled to say, trying to find the right words. “I mean, it’s a nice ship, and I’m here with people who I know don’t mean me harm, most of whom I know I can trust but...That doesn’t mean I can always alter the course of my mind or emotions...If I’m honest, I’m terrified of whatever’s coming my way.”

 

They sat there for a while in the quiet. Oddly enough, though no words were spoken, it felt like there didn’t need to be any said. They both knew there was so much happening, too much too delve into. And, maybe sitting beside each other could be enough?

 

He smiled, taking her hands gently in his and having her stand up with him. Leaning over to the nearby speaker, he pressed a button, and music began to play, with him swaying from side to side. She gave him a confused look, blinking several times as though she were trying to sort out the newest form of cognitive dissonance presented before her. The confusion evaporated though, as they grew closer, and she relaxed with him, placing her trust in him. They giggled, laughing even a little at first at the silliness of the situation, trying to get used to the weirdness that was of them dancing.

 

_“I want you to know this instead, that I see the light in your chest...Ghost, where you from? I can take you away, so far away. Ghost, I'll make sure they all see the kind of man, that you can be…”_

 

Neither really paid attention to the lyrics at first, only each other as the distance melted away, a hand on her hip, and one on his shoulder. The door to the room closed and clicked with lock. Loki revealed himself freely and without her asking then, his true form bare before her, and her eyes possibly the darkest, warmest hue of brown he’d seen yet as they moved in circles. They were vulnerable to one another, and it was okay...It was more than okay. He could almost feel himself melting in the warmth of her gaze in the best of ways, and he didn’t want to escape. And she found solidarity in his, a place to stand with.

_“Open your lungs and inhale my words. I see in your eyes a reflection of hurt. The book in your mind hasn't come to an end. There's always a page, that hasn't been read…”_

 

He lifted her off her feet then, spinning her around, and she wasn’t afraid, holding onto him. Their faces were so close, barely a breath away, and something, something palpable was there. Both of their heartbeats pounded, softening only slightly as he set her on the ground again.

 

_“I won't let you slip away, is there any hope for us left...Even a ghost needs a friend…”_

 

The dance was slowing, and they put their foreheads together, softly swaying from side to side, faces flushed, and fingers intertwined. Terra let out a huff of air, smiling nervously, and he mimicked the action, whether consciously or subconsciously, not even he could tell. Carefully, he pulled her into an embrace, burying his face into her neck, with her doing the same.

 

_“Your heart, it beats, forever, forever, we see, I will believe, that there's a ghost in me…”_

 

His hands were around her waist, behind her back. Hers were wrapped behind his neck. And, how strange and confusing this all was? How much was churning and turning and twisting through their minds? How many questions? Were there any answers? Reluctantly peering at each other, they asked silently without a word.

 

_“Your lungs they breathe, forever, forever, we see, I will believe…”_

 

Terra started to reach up towards Loki, pausing as she quietly asked for permission. He took her hand and placed it on his cheek, closing his eyes as he savored her touch. Opening them once more, crimson and brown meld as they stared at each other when the music died, leaving just the two of them, inching ever closer.

 

 _“I will believe…”_  the lyrics continued to echo even as the words drifted away into nothingness.

 

They continued looking, searching, and just when Loki swallowed, opening his mouth to say something, there was a banging on the door. Grimacing, he cursed under his breath. Terra offered him a small, sad yet understanding smile.

 

“Later?” she offered, even if she wasn’t entirely sure what she was offering.   
  
  
There were too many thoughts, too many emotions dashing in her mind to process at the moment.

 

He nodded, and she went to answer the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Thursday, somewhere in either Chapter 21: Bacon, or Chapter 22: Walkman.
> 
> The song is We Are Ghosts by Jacob Lee, which I do NOT own.
> 
> This scene was requested and partially inspired by the infamous Harry/Hermione dancing sequence in the Deathly Hallows, which this particular Beta Reader also ships.
> 
> Sorry, no kissing or hanky panky. 
> 
> Well, at least no kissing...Yet.
> 
> EDIT: Here's the link to the song.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxh1EYJVhfQ&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm&index=8


	14. Flowers and Hidden Meanings

Loki’s jaw clenched, “Are you all right?”

 

Relief relaxed his aching joints and muscles from stress gathered over the past few days as he heard Terra’s voice, “Yes, and you?”

 

“I’m fine. Where are you?”

 

She swallowed, breathless. Terra sounded exhausted. “A place called Knowhere. I’m being escorted to Spartax by the self-proclaimed Guardians of the Galaxy. There’s...A half-human among them. He’s kind of annoying, but I think he’s trustworthy.”

 

The prince tried not to groan. He had heard too many rumors about the supposed human of the group and if it was who he thought it was…”Does he call himself Star-Lord?”

 

“Yes,” Terra chuckled. “Apropos, given what he is, I think.”

 

“In what way?” Loki inquired, his curiosity starting to get the better of him, but not truly expecting and answer.

 

She was quiet for a few seconds, “He appears...To be much of what his name implies, surprisingly. There are other traits, many of which make me question his character, but overall he’s somewhat decent.”

 

He fought the urge to laugh. Of course she was going to adapt and somehow, miraculously, circumnavigate the galaxy to reach her goal. She was that determined of a person. She never gave up on the most hopeless of situations or...People.

 

“Loki?”

 

Loki, Prince of Asgard and Jotunheim, found himself hesitating, trembling at the kind, comforting voice of a mortal. A mortal who had power not just in her eyes, but in her words, and he didn’t mean in her possible ability to manipulate others to harm themselves or take their own lives. No, she was utterly terrified of doing so. Inside, her words touched people even when her powers didn’t seem to take effect. Her gestures and touches showed kindness and were so…

 

He had to breathe as he thought of the hue of brown he cared about so much. It wasn’t green he’d come to know, but deep, deep brown. Nearly choking, he struggled to maintain a steady tone as he addressed her, “Miss Barloc...Terra...Please, return safely.”

 

“Loki?” she asked again, obviously confused.

 

Flushing slightly, he recalled one of Earth’s tales that Terra had told him of. “Terra... _Flowers are blooming by the road. Enjoy them on your way home._ ”

 

She was a member of Damage Control, and their organization knew fully well the power of hidden meanings, though silly or ridiculous they often were as they were born from worry or fear. But Terra? She understood hidden meanings more than most, and she would know this one.

 

It was part of the tale of a Emperor feeling homesick for his Empress when she went to see her family. Not wishing to rush her or make her feel caged, the ruler told his love and dearest friend the same words Loki told Terra. The spouse was secretly informing his beloved that he desperately missed her, and yearned for her safe return, but respected her needs. That he wanted her happiness more that anything else, because he loved her with all his heart. By saying this, Loki was adding his own meanings by not only wishing for Terra’s safe return, but also asking for permission to court her by addressing her as such.

 

For what felt like an eternity, even if only a few moments, the one he waited for was utterly silent. Thankfully, she didn’t keep him waiting too long. “Terra?”

 

“...This is my first time out like this,” she murmured quietly. “Are the flowers really that beautiful?”

 

His fingers trembled as he realized her silent questions.

 

_Are you sure you want this? Do you know what you’re offering? I have no idea what I’m doing, is that all right?_

 

Thus, she was considering his offer, his proposal. She was actually thinking of accepting him, in a much different way than either of them would ever have possibly imagined.

 

His smile, though tentative, grew, “Yes, they are, just as the dream that made them bloom, and the lady in question even more so. I hope she will come to accept them, but it is fine if she chooses not to grow amongst those in the garden.”

 

_I deeply care for you. I want to see you. Please come home. I enjoy being around you. I find you to be beautiful in ways I cannot describe. I want you, but I will let you go if you want me to._

 

She made a rasped, choking sound that was reminiscent of disbelief. “...I, I do not see myself as a flower, but...I think I should like to find out if such a garden is to my liking. I was already planning on returning as quickly and safely as possible, yet now there’s another reason to hurry. I, I hope that the beauty of these flowers are as wonderful for you as they may be for me. I shall see you soon, Loki.”

 

_I’m not entirely sure how to feel or if I can reciprocate the way you want me to, but I want to try. I want to be around you. I want to trust you. I want to be by your side because, I miss you too. This wasn’t what I was expecting, but I’m anxiously anticipating whatever waits ahead, because I’m willing to take that chance with you._

 

“And I you, Terra. I will be here waiting for you," he swore, his hand pressing against the glass as if they were only a short distance away instead of stars apart.

 

_Stay safe, I will be right here waiting for you, not matter what awaits us here, or in the future._

 

Her gaze searched, looking lost until she found something, her cheeks slightly flushed as she nodded, smiling as she tentatively placed her hand where his was, "I, will hasten my journey home...I hope we meet soon."  
  
  
The message ended then, and he felt an ache in his chest, followed by a profound sense of loneliness. It was somewhat alleviated by the memory of her words, and the unsaid yet understood promise being made. He wanted to say those words without secret messages, without fear that someone could hear or harm her. But, for now there was some light in his heart not only because he knew she was safe, but because of something else.

 

...He was going to court Terra Barloc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Thursday, somewhere in either Chapter 21: Bacon, or Chapter 22: Walkman.
> 
> It's a very turbulent arc and this would be a moment of relief between the two.
> 
> And yes, this is based off of Love 020.
> 
> EDIT: Speaking of Love 020, here's the theme. I figured it fit the chapter pretty well.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZARx8u_rS4&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm&index=9


	15. Reunited

As all of the Damage Control members finally stepped out of the room, Loki’s and Terra’s eyes met. Before Thor even had a chance to hug his friend, Loki reached her first, embracing her tenderly and with a desperation that few had ever seen. Pulling back, he stroked stray strands of ebony from her face, nearly laughing with joy at the sight before him.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

They both either ignored Thor, or didn’t notice as he began making faces, both grinning maniacally as realization dawned on him and he waggled his eyebrows at nearby Damage Control members. The muscular man also performed a small jig, unnoticed by the two that were reuniting.

 

Terra frowned slightly, “Not really, but I will be, especially since you’re here.”

 

At the last part of her declaration she not only brightened, but blushed as she visibly began to recall certain discussions. Pressing his forehead to hers, they both remained quiet, wanting to say so many things, but at the same time aware of their audience. Thor was grinning at them rather unbearably, shiny white teeth sparkly with giddiness. Terra’s kin had mixed reactions ranging from concern to pride. He couldn’t blame them, considering he was still an enemy to most on Earth, and Damage Control in particular had reasons to dislike him. It just made the fact that Terra was willing to hug him that more miraculous in perspective.

 

Thor started to open his mouth when Terra’s father shushed him and had the others drag him away, causing the Asgardian to stutter protests before Abigail whispered something to him. Ballinger glanced between Loki and Terra, the man’s gaze lingering on his daughter more than the Prince before sighing.

 

“We’ll give you two some time alone,” Lenny said, before facing Loki. “Young man, and don’t give me the excuse that you’re millenia years old, I’d like to speak with you later. Don’t worry, I’m not going to bite your head off. I’m just...She’s my little girl.”

 

Understanding the implications of Ballinger’s words, Loki didn’t get the chance to respond as Terra’s father walked away.

 

Terra frowned, “Sorry, we had to share minds briefly before the meeting and-”  
  


“I understand,” he murmured, not angry at all. “Though I am curious as to how my brother knows.”

 

“I am too,” she admitted.

 

Said brother’s voice boomed out, “Loki is NOT always as sneaky as he thinks!”

 

Terra raised an eyebrow and Loki realized, Thor eavesdropped on his call to Terra earlier. Of course he would. Terra just snickered, “Well, I’ve never had a true sibling but I would gladly count Abigail as one, and she does similar things all the time?”

 

She gave him a sympathetic pat and Loki groaned, feeling horrified by the implication that he was tricked by Thor of all people. Then he remembered, he was supposed to be alone with Terra, and smirked. Taking her hand, he said, “May I show you a place here that I find the view particularly spectacular?”

 

“As long as something doesn’t try to kill me again, okay,” she laughed.

 

“It won’t, I promise,” he uttered, pressing his forehead to hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Thursday, somewhere in Chapter 24: Infinite Power.


	16. May I?

They stood in a small field, surrounded by flowers and plants with scents sweet yet soft enough that weren't overpowering. Terra had looked slightly afraid at first, tentative as she touched one of the primroses, and he cradled it before placing one that had fallen into her hair, using his magic to heal it. Her hand caught his as he did so, and she bit her lip. Slowly then, she drew his hand to her hip, and the other tentatively to her shoulder.

Both of their cheeks flushed as they continued where they left off on the ship, dancing slowly, though this time, to music only they could hear.

_There you stand, opened heart, opened doors_

 

 

Loki truly had only been planning on showing her the gardens to take her mind off of things, so when their dance ended, he was pleasantly surprised when she asked, “Loki...May I kiss you?”

 

_Full of life with a world that's wanting more_

 

Looking at her in astonishment, and then adoration, he nodded, tilting her chin, “Yes.”

 

_But I can see when the lights start to fade_

 

Cupping her cheek, he leaned downward, but made sure she was the one that chose to meet him as well.  
  


_The day is done and your smile has gone away_

 

Their breaths mingled as there was a pause on both sides, waiting, anticipating and giving a chance to let either one back out. As their lips met, he wanted to drown in her scent, tasting her for the first time. He didn’t care that she was slightly chapped or if there was dust intermingling with her fruity and baked scents. He just wanted her.  
  


_Let me raise you up, let me be your love_

 

Slowly, one hand went to her waist as the other intermingled in her hair that was dark as the night-sky above them. Tentatively, she licked his bottom lip and he gasped, pleased  and carefully returning the motion, making her shiver as her hands clenched in his shirt.

 

_May I hold you as you fall to sleep?_

 

He removed his hand from her waist and slowly guided one of her hands to his head, to his hair, murmuring, “Please.”

 

_When the world is closing in and you can't breathe here_

 

Her eyes opened, widening and unsure for a moment before feeling, grasping and interweaving in the softness there. There was an almost childish joy there as she experimented, touching his hair with her fingertips before softly feeling through his locks and kissing him again.

 

_May I love you, may I be your shield_

 

Oh gods, her eyes were the color of the darkest meads from Asgard, and they were still shining, burning in the starlight as they lit up in the night.

 

_When no one can be found, may I lay you down?_

 

They both burst out giggling and fell back into the flowers, him under her as he shielded her from hitting the ground. With her lying on top of him, he looked up at her, flushed and happy, and somehow, miraculously, even though he had the deepest urge to kiss her, lust was furthest on the edges on his mind.  Their lips met once more and she laid by his side, nuzzling into him.

 

_All I want is to keep you safe from the cold_

  
  


Their hands together, he felt so much younger than he had in eons. And yet, with her other hand over his chest, and his hand over hers, he felt so much older.  Yet, his age didn’t matter in either case because there was an overwhelming sense of peace he couldn’t get enough of. Taking it, he kissed the inside of her palm, causing her to inhale.

 

_To give you all that your heart needs the most_

 

She was hesitant, but asked, “We uh, back on the ship before all of this-”

 

_Let me raise you up_

  
  


He stroked her cheek, “I meant what happened back then, and I mean what’s happening now...Terra, I also meant what I said when you were trying to come back. I, I would like to court you.”

 

_Let me be your love_

 

Her blush was adorable, “I, I don’t have much experience...As in I’ve literally been on one date in my entire life before.”

 

_May I hold you as you fall to sleep?_

 

“Were they kind at the very least?”

 

She smiled, “Yes, it just didn’t work out, and we kind of knew that from the start. It was more for fun in any case. Nothing too serious, and more of a playdate really. I just, wanted to go on a date with someone I felt wasn’t going to try anything at the time.”

 

_When the world is closing in_

 

Loki smirked a little, “ ‘Try anything’?”

 

Terra grimaced and he realized he made a mistake. “Um, you don’t know how dangerous dating can be for women on Earth, do you? Loki, there have literally been women killed for refusing dates or even meeting in public places with those they thought they could trust. And far more, even after death or right before who were assaulted. For a lot of us, it’s truly terrifying. And for me...I, well, I didn’t want to walk myself back into a bad memory I guess.”

 

By Hela. “It’s that awful?”

_And you can't breathe here_

 

His intended was sincere. “I mean it. Damage Control is sometimes called in to clean up the aftermath. It’s...Not easy.”

 

_May I love you?_

  
  


He sat up so that he met her eyes and took both her hands, “Terra, I swear to you that regardless of what happens in the future I will never intend to harm you nor any woman in that manner. I-”

 

_May I be your shield?_

 

She was smiling, pressing her forehead to his with watery eyes, as she giggled softly, “Loki, I can tell that even without my ‘vision’ as it were...You aren’t exactly a good guy, but you are a decent man. And for that, I’m grateful.”

 

_When no one can be found, may I lay you down?_

 

Loki sighed in relief, making sure she was alright with it before holding her close. She kissed his forehead, and he still uttered the vow to her, causing her to tremble against him. For a while, they merely held each other, reveling in each other’s touches in the flowers and the starlight, once in a while basking in innocent kisses. Her heartbeat calmed him the most.

 

_All that's made me is all worth trading just to have one moment with you_

 

As it neared dawn, Terra fell asleep in his arms, snuggling against him.

 

_So I will let go with all that I know, knowing that you're here with me_

 

He pressed his lips against her forehead once more, and carried her back to the ship, trying to keep her both warm in his cape and keep them unseen as he placed her onto her bed.

 

_For your love is changing me…_

  
  


As he did so, Ballinger entered the  room, the latter silently walking to the bed and tucking her in.

 

_May I hold you as you fall to sleep when the world is closing in and you can't breathe..._

  
  


It was odd that he cast no judgement in his eyes, instead allowing Loki to lay beside his daughter, and whispering a wish for them to both rest well.

  
  


_May I love you, may I be your shield?_

  
  


Grateful, he held her tight, lowering his Asgardian form as he closed his eyes, falling asleep to her heartbeat’s lullaby.

  
  


_When no one can be found may I lay you down?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Thursday, somewhere in Chapter 24: Infinite Power.
> 
> The song is Trading Yesterday's May I?
> 
> Never wrote kissing before and was unsure if this was qualified or not as "graphic material" or not due to the details involved. 
> 
> EDIT: Here's the link to the song if anyone's interested.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlFqz7NnoX4&index=10&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm
> 
> Honestly though, I'll never, ever write anything more than this in terms of kissing or beyond (seriously sticking to first base for anything and everything) and this was weird for me. I gave it a shot, and I'm not sure I liked it that much. Oh well.
> 
> But finally kissed in this universe, followed by a several. Happy? Smoochy smoochy? I have no bloody clue what I'm doing. I hope I did okay.


	17. Got a Death Wish?

Lenny Ballinger, Terra's adoptive father, was crooking a finger for the god to follow him to the living area of the ship. There, he had food and beverages. “Hungry, thirsty?”

 

Loki hesitated, “...I’ll try some Death Wish Coffee?”

 

Ballinger chuckled, giving him some with knowing expression. “I’ll keep some cream on hand. That stuff is awful even for us. Terr Bear only takes it to keep pain off her mind.”

 

“...Oh,” Loki nearly gagged, coughing on the foul concoction, but drank it anyway.

 

The elder grinned, “Look, I’m not here to be the mean father and tell you two what you can and can’t do. I’ll be a little cranky to say the least if you get her pregnant, but I won’t force a shotgun wedding since that’s her’s and your business and could be bad for the kids if you don’t get along. I also hope you two practice safe sex like I educated her about.”

 

That time Loki choked on his drink, “WE HAVEN’T-!”

 

Ballinger beamed, “I really doubted it, but she’s a grown woman, and capable of making her own choices, isn’t she?”

 

“Well, yes but-”

 

“Then as long as everything’s consensual, I’m fine with it and frankly, none of my business,” Lenny hummed. “Although eventually grandkids would be nice, I’m just happy as long as she’s happy. So here’s my ‘pep talk’ as it were…”

 

He leaned forward, and faced the Prince of Asgard, every bit a regal as a king, yet nothing like Odin in the slightest when he carried himself. It was rather refreshing.  
  
  
“She’s a member of Damage Control, and there’s always going to be people both from the company and from Earth that have problems with you. Those people are going to cause trouble. You will have doubts, you will have fears. So will she both about her people and yours. Don’t let it be because of them. If you have any fears, let it be about the future, and allow those fears to transition into something better. Turn those fears into a strength. Better yet, practice communicating with her, or any partner you have. Be honest even if it does hurt, about everything, especially the little things because those add up."  
  


The man monitored Loki's reactions, but wan't intruding on the deity's personal space. He was careful, seeming to care for the other person's comfort though he was protective of his own child as well.  
  


“As for anything else, don’t forget that she’s Terra Barloc of Damage Control, and that you’re Loki, Prince of Asgard. That you two are your own people, with your own personalities and attributes, and that it is your choice to be together. Maybe that'll change, maybe it won't, but it's still both of your choices and no one else's. Don’t forget that you two are independent beings, willing to depend on one another, and that such dependence means a lot of trust. And that such trust, should always be treasured. So treat her like your damned Queen if that’s what you intend to make her, and I don’t mean put her on a pedestal, I mean treat her as your equal. Treat her as someone worthy of your life. If you don’t, you’ve got a lot more than Damage Control to worry about. Sound fair?”

 

...Was he inadvertently threatened just now? Yes, yes he was. But, this was one of those rare occasions he was going to let it go. And if anyone asked why that was? It was simply because this was one of those times where not only someone had broached him as a person instead of a monster, but also because they did so to care for their family. “Yes, sir.”

 

“No ‘sir’ now,” Ballinger sighed. “It’s weird, you’re several millennia older than me. At least call me Lenny for now. Maybe once we’re more comfortable…’Dad’? Or is that too strange?”

 

“Lenny,” Loki said automatically, the other term too uncomfortable. “Or, is your name Leonard?”

 

No offense, he still disliked calling Odin that term after all. He was not ready to call anyone else that yet.

 

“Lenny,” the man affirmed, understanding the situation without it needing to be said. There, now there was a far less likelihood of a massacre. "That being said, care for some mead? I snuck some out of Thor's chambers while he wasn't looking."  
  
  
"...Are all Damage Control members mad?" Loki couldn't help but ask.  
  
  
Lenny smirked, pouring a glass, "All the best ones."

  
They each raised a glass, clinking them together and grinning before tilting their heads backwards with satisfied gulps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Thursday, somewhere in either Chapter 24: Infinite Power, or Chapter 25:Representation Matters.
> 
> Yes, the dreaded parent meeting.
> 
> Anybody who dates Terra Barloc, is gonna get one.


	18. Bittersweet

Braiding her hair as Terra had done for him minutes before, Loki paused as he followed the grooves of the Lichtenberg figures along the side of her neck. He grimaced, hating that they were placed there by Mjolnir while at the same time, admiring that she had taken the markings on purpose in order to save millions. Not hearing her questioning tone, he became lost in his thoughts and had placed his lips lightly on the juncture of her neck as if it would soothe the old wound.

 

Upon hearing her squeak, he immediately apologized. That’s when he noticed her brown eyes were somewhat flushed, a little darkened and she seemed confused. Understanding why she might be but also knowing she might not be ready for something, he tried to make sure she was okay.

 

“Terra?”

 

She swallowed, “Is, is this like that hair pulling thing?”

 

It took him a moment. She was referring as to how he had asked back on the political mission to the Galactic Council where they had finally affirmed their wish to court and...started to become more physically intimate that he’d asked her to pull his hair.

 

He buried his face in his hands at the innocent and yet, frightened question, trying not to laugh. “Um, how much-?”

 

She flushed, rubbing the back of her neck, “...Sorry, my sex education wasn’t lacking or anything it’s just...I don’t know..I mean, unless you're into rough, are you? I...I’m horrible at this. I’m sorry.”

 

Terra was pouting now, hiding her face and holding her arms, her knees pulled up to her chest. He carefully sat neck to her, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “I truly did not intend to push anything. It was an act that wasn’t sexual.”

 

“...I don’t understand,” she admitted.  


 

Blushing himself, he looked at her scars, his finger trailing along them gently he specified, “I was thinking about these...You are brave, and, sometimes it scares me. It was an urge to take some of the pain away I suppose, like how my mother used to kiss mine away. It sounds rather strange, doesn’t it?”

 

She hesitated, breaking into a warm smile as she lowered some of her defenses, “Oh, kissing my boo boos away."  
  
  
They both grinned at the old memories from what felt like long ago. What had it been? Nearly a year now since that time in her office? Now two since they met? Longer? Still, he couldn't help but wonder at her confusion, and it didn't take much for her to pick up on it.  
  
  
"I didn’t have bad parents, really the good one that you know but, even though I didn’t have something like that, I did sometimes see it with other kids. It’s not that strange. It’s sweet.”

 

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Are there any pleasant childhood memories you’d care to share?”

 

Terra leaned against him, “Well, I was a rebellious kid I guess, always causing trouble. So, I’d make a lot of pranks.”

 

“You, pranks?”

 

“Yep. Once there were these business conglomerates who just happened to be sexist assholes. They uh, were rather open about their opinions and about little girls that should not be interested in corporate affairs nor anything political. So, after they called me a few choice names that I grew sick of, I...Set a trap that ended getting them covered in molasses, rhinestones, and glitter. Most of the colors were pink and/or shined in rainbow since they showed rather anti-LGBT views. Lenny couldn’t find it in his heart to ground me.”

 

Loki began laughing and she smiled. “Any others?”

 

“Plenty, including my first annual SHIELD invasion. You know how Damage Control has SHIELD test our defenses every year? Well, my first I got to be a sniper and for ammo...I chose glow-in-the-dark-ink. Specifically, the kind that not only illuminates in the dark, but the kind that smells like cotton candy and other sweets after a few minutes. That way, it’s spread like a virus through physical contact. By the end of it, everyone was ‘infected’. Better yet, all the SHIELD members had the smell on them for at least a week.”

 

He was gaping at her, “And I’m evil?”

 

She smiled, kissing his cheek, and then the tip of his nose,  “No, just naughty. Besides, I was a teenager back then, and that wasn’t even my worst prank. Lenny keeps a catalog if you really want to see some of the things I’ve done.”

 

“I’ll have to look into it,” he conceded, giggling as she leaned against his arm, relaxing as he leaned his head against hers. As he did so, there was a flicker of light in his mind.

 

Blinking, he realized Terra’s eyes were still closed until he saw something.

 

**_It was her hazel eyes looking back at him at the same time, in a reflection of a rifle scope. He could hear her heartbeat, beating so slow it was almost like it was pulsing at all. The eye focused through the glass, so that he could see her target. Below were SHIELD trainees, about to fire something at Damage Control members._ **

****

**_“...Take the shot Terr Bear.”_ **

****

**_She shook her head. “It’s too easy. They’re bait. See the corner?”_ **

****

**_“Ah. Good. Do what you need to then,” Lenny Ballinger’s voice instructed, distancing from her as grunts followed nearby._ **

****

**_The image became clearer as she fired three shots consecutively, hitting each of her targets without them noticing, even as the shadows revealed the ink. The men laughed, talking about how smooth everything was going as they pat each other on the back. Loki could feel Barloc’s smile before it faltered, returning to her eye’s reflection._ **

****

**_They all had images, and she didn’t...Would she really be able to do this in real life? Would she really be able to harm people this way? Lenny said it helped the SHIELD agents be aware of possibilities but...Just because she might be soulless, didn’t mean she was heartless._ **

****

**_Terra didn’t want to be a monster. She didn’t want to be a killer. She didn’t want to be soulless. She...Wanted to be human. She wanted to be so much more. If this were real, she wondered how tempting it would be to turn the gun on herself._ **

****

**_She barely noticed or cared as one of the SHIELD agents’ rubber bullets hit her._ **

 

He gasped as he felt Terra touch his cheek, the worry in her eyes apparent as she looked at him, “Loki? What’s wrong?”

 

The prince, looking into her brown eyes, kissed her as deeply as he could, holding her tenderly. Gently, she pushed him back, “Loki, what-?”

 

He didn’t know how to explain at first. After all, he had just seen her memory, from her point of view. That meant her mind, her body was opening up to him, trusting him. As far as he knew, few people had ever been given that privilege. Yet, the first memory he got to see was haunting. It was one of youth and mischief, sweet and familial, and yet, he saw some darker parts of her mind that he didn’t want her to think. He didn’t want to hear her think these things about herself.  


Deciding that honesty was best, he said, “I, I think I just saw your memory. You were seventeen. You were thinking of the apartment that your father was going to help you get in about two months. It’s your first SHIELD drill. You had recently taken up learning gun safety and drills from your father. You’re taking the sniper position and you see your reflection...You shot three agents instead of the ones your father wanted you to because the others were bait, a trap. He was your guard. He couldn’t handle them all though and you were shot. But, that’s, that’s not what shocked me the most…”

 

She was staring at him, her eyes watering and a smile spreading across her cheeks. He didn’t want to forget that image, but he couldn’t lie.

 

“Terra, the reason you dropped your guard-”

 

Her smile faltered and she kneeled, cupping his face, “Oh no. Loki I…” She furrowed her eyebrows. Her expression fell as she found something, looking down. “I was getting therapy back then, and I still am. I, I won’t deny those thoughts, or how much they troubled, trouble me. They still do. They don’t distract me as much as they do now but…”

 

She sat back a little, her hands shaking as she laid them in her lap. “I...I would understand if you didn’t want-”

 

Wait, what-?! He caught her hand, pulling the inside of her palm to his lips as he met her eyes, turning into his true form. She inhaled, brown and red meeting. “I trust you, Terra Barloc...And I hope that someday I can earn yours as well. There’s nothing to run from.”

 

Terra slowly relaxed, easing as she slid her hand to his cheek once more, and leaned up to kiss him as he was. Her thumbs stroked the lines across his face, as did his for the details on hers.  
  
  
"You already have it," she murmured, causing his heart to stutter.

 

She paused, and then nipped at his bottom lip while her fingers interlocked in his mane. Grinning, he was very much enjoying this bittersweet experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Friday, somewhere between in Chapter 1: Friday Night and Chapter 3: Busy Bee.


	19. Home

Terra looked thoughtful, and the prince could only ponder what was possibly going on in her mind. Biting her lip, she finally spoke, “Would you like to move in with me?”

 

He nearly choked on his drink.

 

“Sorry, I guess that was too forward. I’ll take it back and we can pretend it didn’t happen.”

 

Shaking his head, he cleared his throat, “No, it’s fine just...Took me by surprise. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

 

“Well, I do have a guest room across from mine, and you know my apartment doesn’t have much in it anyways. So, I figured that since we've been spending so much time together, why not? I mean, if we’re really trying to see how this goes...I understand we both have obligations of course to the Avengers and Damage Control as well as other details…”

 

Asgard, Jotunheim, X-Men, and so much more that they needn’t go into, but he understood. He was courting her. It wasn’t in the traditional manner that most Asgardians or even Midgardians of the olden days would have recognized, nonetheless accepted, but for them their own pace needed to be their own, no matter how strange it may seem.

 

He beamed, “I accept.”

 

She grinned too, handing him a key as she kissed his cheek. She dusted herself off, getting up and putting on her coat.  “Dinner will be ready around seven unless something comes up. Is kjøttkaker satisfactory?”

 

Loki really ought not to have been surprised. “...I wasn’t expecting you to make anything at all, and had you made anything, I would have been happy to receive anything but kjøttkaker? Are you serious?”

 

Terra shrugged, “I’m not up for trying to make smalahove, sorry, but kjøttkaker honestly seems kind of simple compared to some dishes I’ve made in the past. I’m working my way up though. Did I get the accent right?”

 

He laughed a little. “I understand why you wouldn’t make sheep’s head. But, you’re amazing. Just don’t overwork yourself.”

 

“No promises, but I’ll try not to,” she sighed. “Seriously, kjøttkaker is just meatballs...Basically ground beef with specific spices and herbs. It’s not going to kill me. The apple pie though…”

 

“Apple pie?”

 

She shrugged, “Why are there so many desserts that involve apples?”

 

His eyes darkened slightly, though he wouldn't push anything, “I can think of other desserts to show you-”

 

Terra placed a finger over his lips, her smile not disappearing nor faltering. “Maybe another time. Stay safe, and please be home in time for dinner.”

 

Home...His teasing died with that single word as he watched her walk away and looked to the key in his palm. She had just given her home to him. She researched foods he would like. She was trying to make him feel welcome and safe and...He smiled.  
  
  


* * *

 

Terra realized she probably shouldn’t have been surprised by Loki offering to help with dishes, but it’s not exactly a usual sight to see a supposed deity helping with everyday chores either. Frankly, it threw her off that he even knew how, especially considering Thor’s treatment of dishes, cups and mugs even more so if he found anything appetizing. Carefully conveying this after thanking him so that he knew she didn’t think of him as Thor, he laughed, and she was grateful to see his smile.

  


“It’s a custom back to pay compliment,” he explained. “It’s also done in some European countries, usually in festivities and not just in Asgard. You’ll normally see it in older towns or traditions.”

  


“...Considering how much effort it used to take to make a cup,” Terry started, thinking of the process, “I’d think potters would be very irate, but okay.”

  


He snorted. “Some are, but it depends on where you live and who you are amongst. Fear not, I won’t break anything of yours.”

  


She was quiet for a moment, thinking, and he could probably  see it in her expression.

  


“Terra, what are you pondering?”

  


“...Getting a subscription of breakable glasses for you and any guests you might want to have over,” she reluctantly admitted as she held her chin in thought, looking around her apartment, wincing at her floors. Then she muttered to herself. “I’ll have to do something about the tiles in the dining room.”

  


He took her hand, his gaze soft, “You don’t have to-”

  


“It’s your home as much as mine,” she stated, “Or, at least I was hoping it could be, if you’re alright with that. I want you to feel safe here, as you have when I’m with you.”

  


Something changed in his features, as if he were wounded and healing at the same time. She barely had time to react when he cupped her cheeks and kissed her. The shock of how sudden it was caught her off guard, making her stiff, but she relaxed into him, closing her eyes and leaning into his touch. That was when she noticed the salty smell and opened hers again to see his blue form. He was crying.

  


“Loki?” she asked worriedly.

  


“I love you,” he whispered, uttering the words as if he were breaking. “I love you.”

  


Smiling, she leaned up and held his face in her hands, tugging his hair slightly as she knew he liked, pressing her lips to his. “I love you, Loki, and I trust you with all I am.”

  


He held her tightly then, embracing her as they stood in the kitchen, swaying side to side, creating a dance to their own, silent music.

  


After a while, when she had her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, she asked, “Do you want to head to bed?”

  


Loki pressed his mouth to the top of her hair, kissing the top of it, “I’d love to.”

  


She was slightly surprised when he carried her over the doorway to her bedroom, but didn’t protest as she leaned into him. That night, they just lay down on the sheets, holding one another. Nothing more, nothing less, and yet, everything had changed. That night, she dreamed, and dreamed of futures with him and endless possibilities.  
  
  
The place finally felt like home, and maybe it was because he was there in it. She only hoped she could do the same for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Friday, somewhere between in Chapter 3: Busy Bee and Chapter 6: Galadriel.
> 
> EDIT: After seeing a gif in one of the comments, I realized the lyrics to the song in question really did fit this very well so...Here's the link to Skylar Grey's Coming Home.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JmrOXSbsOU&index=11&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm


	20. What If...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts of a God and a Mortal

"Who was your first kiss?" Terra sat down beside Loki, raising an eyebrow at her partner. He gave a shy smile, "You don't have to answer."

 

Terra smirked back, "How about we play a game? It's called Quid Pro Quo. Every question you ask, you have to answer as well. So for now, I'll answer your question, but you have to answer it too. Then, we trade off, and I'll ask a question. But, if either one of us is uncomfortable with something, we ask an alternative, deal?"

 

He slowly nodded, "Your first kiss?"

 

She flushed, "...Wade Wilson."

 

Loki nearly fell off the couch, "What?"

 

"Wade Wilson, also known as Deadpool," she smiled softly. "Long story short, he normally causes havoc for the company, we clean it up, and the cycle happens over and over again. One day, I met with him and asked if there was some kind of arrangement we could make so for one day at the very least, he could let us relax a little. He flirted with us as usual and...I asked him on a date, telling him to pick me up later that night."

 

Concerned, Loki placed a hand over hers, "And how did he-?"

 

"His humor may be crass, but he was a gentleman, in his own way," Terra snorted. "It was actually kind of nice oddly enough. I enjoyed it and we had fun. He didn't pressure me into anything and I felt safe with him because...You know how I can see people's images? Their symbols? His is, complicated, but he is strangely decent. He's not someone to take advantage of those who are weak or children..."

 

She drifted a little, her eyes hazing over as she cleared her throat.

 

"Anyways, at the end of the date, I had honestly meant to kiss him on the cheek and he turned his head so I uh, ended up missing," she stuttered, blushing a little. "He was also caught off guard and apologized, but I decided if I was going to kiss someone, I wanted to do it right. So, with his permission, I did."

 

Loki kept his face neutral until she continued.

 

"It was nice and yet strange, like something didn't quite fit. I suppose in another life he might've made me happy but, I don't think it would've worked in this one. He was kind and funny, but we both agreed to just stay friends."

 

The prince stared at her, then smiled a little. "I see."

 

"Sorry, I suppose I spoke too much," she murmured, appearing crestfallen.

 

"No, it's nice to hear your past experiences, and perhaps what you may or may not like," he admitted. "It's just, I don't know how to feel about what could've been. A part feels angry, perhaps jealous, and a little confused that maybe, you could've been happy without me."

 

Terra tilted her head in understanding, "And you?"

 

He too, drew some color into his cheeks, but it was likely for a different reason, "Amora. She was my first magic teacher besides my mother."

 

"Oh," she murmured, knowing how Amora yearned for Thor. "I...Was she trying to use you?"

 

Loki grimaced, "I don't know. I think she might've had genuine feelings for me back then, but it's hard to tell. It was before I became the God of Lies. I never had the heart to ask."

 

She placed her hand over his before hugging him. It was rare that she didn't know what to say, but in times where she didn't, this was one of the few she was capable of offering  herself to hold onto. He hugged her back.

 

"Thank you."

 

Deciding to change the subject only a little, it was her turn, "...Have you ever been in love?"

 

"I had a crush on Aphrodite, but not love," he conceded. "And I've had...Affairs with Victor Von Doom."

 

Leaning back a little, Terra smirked and Loki blushed, tugging at his collar.

 

"He's, a fascinating man with an intriguing mind," the prince choked out, squeaking a little. "Er, there was also Angrboda? Glut?"

 

"Oho, so those myths were true?" Terra teased a little.

 

He scowled, "I didn't have kids with them."

 

"I wouldn't mind if you did," she calmed him, grinning a little more softly. "Although I would be a little concerned about whether or not we had kids someday. Not about how they looked, but how I'd birth them. Would I have a natural one, cesarean...Not to mention what needs they might have?"

 

Loki's eyes widened, his cheeks turning neon red, "You've thought about bearing my children?"

 

"Why not?" she asked, confused. "I mean, it's okay if you don't want to, but I would at least like to consider the possibilities."

 

Her fingers were stroking his palms, tracing the lines no one else could see. Her brown eyes searched his scarlet instead of green, careful as she tried to make sure he was okay. Slowly he placed his forehead against hers, exhaling a little. She kissed his palm then, and placed it against her heart.

 

"I'm not scared, Loki, but if you are, it's fine," she uttered. "We don't have to. I'm happy as long as I'm with you."

 

He shut his eyes, imagining far more than he could bear. "...Have you ever been in love?"

 

Terra kept his hand against her pulse. "Once...Her name was Marrina. She was a childhood friend. She fell in love with a prince though, and I wanted her to be happy more than anything else so, I became her bridesmaid and watched her walk down the aisle. Later, she asked me to be the godmother of her children."

 

There was more to the story, he could hear it in her voice and yet, everything Terra said was true. But the pain in her voice, was filled with grief. He wouldn't ask, not if it brought her this much pain already. He chose to ask another question, "Has there ever been someone else you've been attracted to? Even if you never held feelings for them?"

 

That, she looked puzzled at. "I...Would have to think on that. I mean, I...I think for anyone I've ever been attracted to, I've had to know them first to feel anything, attraction or otherwise."

 

Loki blinked, and then he beamed as he understood. It would make sense for both her abilities, and her personality. As he waited, she snapped her fingers, "Oh, maybe that one girl at a coffee shop when I was a teenager? But that's if I'm trying really hard. And that's because I saw her almost every other day and thought she smelled nice due to the coffee. That and she had nice hair? I'm sorry, I'm not very good at this."

 

"Terra, you're wonderful," he chuckled, kissing the tip of her nose.

 

Perplexed, she ignored the urge to contradict him though not doing so agitated her. "And what about you? Who are you attracted to in general?"

 

"I don't really care about gender, which can also be said for you," he shrugged. "But I tend to prefer those with intellect, bravery, and compassion...And maybe someone who can 'kick my ass'."

 

His partner was adorable when her cheeks darkened. "Wait, were you attracted to me when I tackled you? Back when we first met?!"

 

"...Maybe."

 

She took a pillow from the couch and whacked him, causing him to laugh as he also picked one up and returned the favor. "And what about you? When were you first attracted to me?"

 

He caught her in fits of giggles as he tickled her, rolling them off the couch with him on the bottom until they flipped so she was under him. She didn't seem to notice as she continued laughing. "W-When you first kissed my hands back in the office. The one with the scar."

 

His gaze softened as he held said hands, studying the scars, "You mean this one?"

 

Loki knew it well. He had seen when she first got it, her expression one of determination and concern as she pushed him out of the way of danger when they first met, even though she was the one who was more likely to die out of the two of them. Though he had called her a coward, Terra had been the one who was truly brave, and he foolishly hadn't realized it in the beginning. Kissing her palm once more, he followed the pulse in the small vein there up to her wrist, then to her neck, and found her brown eyes that watched him shyly, with darkened cheeks.

 

"Loki," she gasped.

 

Gently thumbing her bottom lip, he remembered how they once lay in a similar position so long ago, and how scared they both had been. Him, of being discovered by their enemies, her of being touched, and them both of being buried alive by their fears. And now? Pressing his lips to her forehead, he slowly traced down to her nose, and then to her mouth, their fingers interlocking with his other hand stroking the scar once more. She raised her free hand to his hair, tugging lightly, reminding him of their first kiss.

 

They really had come a long way, hadn't they?

 

And...What if he hadn't taken that chance? What if he hadn't looked back? Would he have recognized her voice? Her scent? What if they never fell in love? How much would the story change? Would they still be friends? Would they be enemies? What if they lived in a world where one of them didn't exist? Or what if one of them fell for someone else? Would he be able to watch he be with another who could make her happy? Could she do the same? But, then again she already had.

 

"Loki, what's wrong?"

 

Holding her tightly, Loki swallowed, "I was just thinking, of so many possibilities..."

 

"Like what?" He elaborated and to his surprise, she smiled. "Of course there's going to be universes like that. But, that's okay. There's also going to be worlds where every small decision we make can make huge impacts, or none at all. Sometimes we think about them all the time, or we don't. Heck, there are days where we can wonder about those chances of strangers we walk past every day, if we had just talked to them or held a conversation for even a minute or two, how much would the outcomes of our lives would be affected?"

 

She looked at his hands then, kissing it even as it turned blue under her touch, "But, there's a certain beauty in that, because it's ultimately our choices, our decisions for better or worse. That means, each universe is its own. There's only so many points in time that can be replicated. So, that means if this is the only universe where we meet or choose one another, then it's our own, and one that we made. Maybe we'll change our minds, or something will happen. All the same, this is our own place, and our own times. These are our own choices, and I choose you, whatever comes our way."

 

Loki stared at Terra, scarlet meeting brown. "...I'm going to kiss you now. Er, please?"

 

"Um, yes?" Terra replied, somewhat confused until Loki pounced, kissing her to the point where she was light-headed. "Wha-?"

 

Pressing his cool forehead to hers, he snuggled against her, "What if I never let you go? Would you mind?"

 

She stilled for a moment, shocked by his question. The game was long forgotten, but she still wanted to ask the same question. "I'm not sure I'd mind that much, but I do think I'd need some air to breathe every once in a while if that's okay...What if I do the same?"

 

"You already do," he whispered, kissing the scars on her shoulder as he held her close in his arms. "...You hold my heart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Friday, somewhere between in Chapter 5: Stitches and Chapter 8: Boogeyman.
> 
> This is something for all shipping/fanfiction/OCs in general.
> 
> Don't be ashamed of your pairing. They're beautiful.


	21. Gender Fluidity Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damage Control always gets the crazy shit, and one day, Terra gets something more so than usual...And Loki can't help but be thrilled.
> 
> This is the first half of a two-parter.

Loki picked up the phone at the apartment, yawning slightly as he checked the time. Worry plagued him. Terra had called earlier, saying she would be home late from Damage Control, but now it was later than expected. “Terra Barloc’s and Loki Friggason’s residence, this is Loki speaking.”

It was enjoyable to say that. He hoped one day they could change the last names to something else, something shared, but they needed to figure out what. A deep voice answered from the other end, but somehow it was familiar...And gave him shivers? Odd, only Terra’s did that lately, and that was when they were having more intimate moments.

“Uh, Loki? Sorry about this, but there was an incident at work? Um, it turns out there is some magic that can work on me, and...Ah screw it, this is Terra and I was turned into a guy.”

There were multiple sounds of laughter and giggles from the other end with presumably Terra...Terry (?) shouting at her/his coworkers to “shut it”. Meanwhile, Loki’s mind began thinking of all sorts of scenarios, blushing as he did so, a smile breaking across his face as he held his chin. But then again, Terra might not like that, and he wouldn’t want to push anything.

“Damn it, why is it Damage Control keeps getting all the crazy shit?” she/he muttered under their breath. “Look, my current license doesn’t match my appearance and my clothes...Don’t fit me. Can you please pick me up and, I’m sorry, can I please wear some of yours for the time being? The spell’s apparently supposed to wear off in forty-eight hours and until then, I’m on sick leave.”

...Terra, as a male...Wearing his clothes, and all to himself? At home? Loki felt a vein in his forehead twitch as he struggled to keep his voice steady. Unfortunately, it came out slightly squeaky instead, “Yes, I’ll be right over.”

“Are you okay?”

“Just fine. See you soon.”

Thinking as he gathered the clothes, he pondered what Terra would even look like as a male. Normally gender didn’t matter to him when it came to partners, and evidently it didn’t matter much to Terra either. Both had shown interests in both. Yet, there was a curiosity in him to see what she would be like. And...Would she be interested in his female form?

Smirking a little, he thought of all kinds of possibilities they could test out in forty-eight hours, and in multiple sexualities...That is, if Terra was up for it of course. Until then, imagination would have to do. Plus, he could always learn the spell later if she was interested.

Driving up to the Flatiron, he saw Abigail Dunton waiting, her cheeks flushed as she waved at him, Frank Johnson by her side. Terra was part of a trio with them, always hanging out. He wondered why they hadn’t been “genderbent”. Knowing Terra, she likely had done something to take the brunt of the spell. Stepping out, he sighed.

“How’d it happen?”

“Mishandling of magical object by tourist. Tera shielded them and us. Spell caught her,” Frank stated factually.

Loki liked the man, even if the fondness wasn’t mutual. Most of Damage Control didn’t like him for understandable reasons. After all, his initial invasion of Earth did harm or kill quite a few of their members either during the attack, or in the aftermath of the cleanup. Even Terra had been greatly wounded, which often made Loki feel like it was a miracle she even cared for him at all.

Abigail nodded. She seemed to like him better, but that was likely because she could see some of Terra’s more fond memories of Loki than others could. “She’s...He’s in his office. Apparently Terr doesn’t really care about the whole pronoun thing and is okay with either one. We found uh, some pants that kind of fit, but they’re falling off since they’re Lenny’s and the belt barely helps. He doesn’t exactly have a shirt that fits well either. According to his measurements, yours might fit him best.”

Huh, so they were almost the same size? His puzzlement must have shown, because Frank shook his head, “He’s still shorter than you, and a bit squishier, but the muscle’s still there from running around and lifting stuff all the time.”

Abigail flushed, coughing into her hand, “I never thought Terr could have abs. I mean, I knew they were there since we share locker rooms, but...I think they’re more pronounced now that she’s a guy. It’s weird.”

The radio turned on and Frank answered, “This is Monstro.”

“Yeah, this is Perspective.” Ah, Terra. “I don’t have to go to the bathroom yet, but I might have to soon and I have no idea how to use this. How…?”

Abigail burst into laughter.

“NOT FUNNY!”

Loki snorted, holding out his hand for the radio. Reluctantly, Frank handed it over, and the former spoke, “I’m heading to your office, dear. I can help you.”

Terra started stuttering and the radio turned off. Both Abigail and Frank were gaping at him as he handed the device back to the latter. He winked at them, carrying the clothes and humming a bit. He hoped his lover would enjoy wearing his colors, and he couldn’t wait to see what the other version of them looked like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT a canon scene from my fanfiction, but if it was, it would likely take place in Hallowed Shapes: Friday, somewhere between in Chapter 5: Stitches and Chapter 8: Boogeyman.


	22. Gender Fluidity Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki meets the male version of Terra, and Terra contemplates their gender.

There was a crashing sound from the other side of the door, and Loki felt more worried than he did teasing. “Terra, are you okay?”

“Er, I think so?” a muffled voice came out, sounding more confused, albeit a little hurt. Loki’s worry only grew worse. “Hey Dad, do you mind getting the door while I try to sort this out?”

“No problem Terr Bear.”

Loki felt himself pale a little, his imagination of what might’ve happened for the next couple of days quickly draining from his mind as Lenny Ballinger, Terra’s adoptive father, opened the door. Lenny Ballinger, the foreman of Damage Control and longest to ever work there, stood before him. They had met before, and the man had thankfully given his blessing for their relationship...In a rather strange way, but Loki still wasn’t quite sure where they stood. He thought it was positive, but this was one of the few mortals that was hard to read. He liked the man, but still...Hard to read.

Ballinger gave him a once over, and called out, “Terr Bear? Do you need a couple of minutes?”

There was another crash, and Loki’s worry grew worse. “Uh, yeah...Please?”

Lenny nodded, “Holler if you need anything.”

“Got it!”

Loki’s expression conveyed his anxiety and Lenny sighed, “Terr’s...Going to the bathroom as a guy for the first time. That and, uh, she’s having some problems trying to pack her other belongings since they were kind of broken and torn when she grew more man-sized.”

Terra’s father coughed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Her...Bra finally tore off and she’s upset. I forgot how expensive those can be.”

Thankfully there weren’t any more crashing noises, but Loki rubbed his neck, feeling a little guilty over his previous thoughts. Yes he was still excited to see what Terra would look like, but at the same time, he hadn’t given as much thought to how much she might be struggling to her new body. Even those who were transgender had to take time to get used to new bodies. To do it instantaneously though, that would be rather traumatic.

He furrowed his eyebrows, and he knocked on the door. “Terra? Are you okay?”

The door opened then, and his breath was taken away. The young person that stood before him was the same age, and had her hazel eyes, but their jawline was sharper, the collarbone honed, and muscles more defined. They had kept Terra’s dark, long hair as well, but somehow curlier. Abigail was right about their abdominal muscles as well. While Terra had always been muscular from labor and her trials, this version’s was far more pronounced, even if they did have a slight muffin top beneath their belly button. It was charming, and endearing. 

The male version, like Terra, also bore scars, but unlike the female version who hadn’t shown him, this one had them open and revealed. Those scars told Loki much of what his beloved might have gone through. Those scars nearly tore his heart apart. Terra tilted their head up at Loki, and ever waved their hand in front of his face. The prince shook out of his reverie, swallowing as he offered the clothing.

“H-Here are the clothes,” he uttered hoarsely.

Terra grimaced, heartache belying their sorrow as they clutched the outfit to their chest, “Sorry you had to see me like this.”

Loki realized what Terra might’ve interpreted then, and the prince tilted his beloved’s face upwards, pecking them softly on the lips. Terra blushed then, gaping. Murmuring, he uttered, “...You’ve no idea how much I want to ravish you right now.”

“Meep!” Terra squeaked, their cheeks ablaze as he shut the door then.

Remembering that his intended’s father was watching, Loki lost all color in his expression, feeling sweat break out on his skin. Lenny raised an eyebrow, and rolled his eyes. “Quit panicking kid. I already told you, as long as you treat my kid right, we’re fine.”

The father began to leave, but his steps halted and he turned back. Taking something out of his pocket, he handed something to the prince. “Okay, you don’t absolutely have to use them, but I’d recommend them if you have any plans, regardless of gender. Now, you two...Just stay safe. Love you Terr Bear! Night!”

“...Night Dad!” Terra called out, leaving the room with their red cheeks greatly contrasting the dark green button up shirt. “Stay safe.”

Lenny tipped his hat to Loki, and the latter nodded to the former, both acknowledging an understanding. The god peeked at what the mortal gave him, flushing as he recognized the package of condoms and quickly put it in his pocket. Why did that man constantly try to give him a heart attack?! Was it part of some nefarious plot?!

His intended touched his shoulder, and Loki reigned himself in, returning the touch. “Are you alright? I’m sorry if I-”

Terr smiled a little nervously at him, “It’s okay. Just unexpected. Sorry that I hid. So uh, you like this form?”

Loki held the young one's hands. “I thought we already discussed that I’m open to any gender. Besides, I’ve wanted to be with you for a while now...I was just curious about seeing you like this when I heard about it.”

He had seen them blush before, but seeing this version was nice too. Loki had a feeling he wouldn’t tire of either one. The hands squeezed back, “That’s...Good to hear.”

Taking his arm, Loki lead them back to the car. “So, quiet night in?”

“If you don’t mind? Sorry, I’m not used to this,” Terra admitted, looking at their hands. The scars were all in the same places, including the one that saved his life. Loki knew that meant the once covering Terra’s chest and stomach would be on his female counterpart’s as well then. His hands clenched on the steering wheel, and he mentally swore that when the time came, when he earned that time, if he ever did, he would kiss each and every one of them. “...There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while now.”

“What is it?”

Terra looked at him. “In many of your myths, you can change into a female form. I always thought that you were genderfluid that way, but here you’re always male. Yet, some of those myths are apparently true. So, is it in this case?”

Loki was quiet. “Would it bother you if it was?”

“No,” Terra answered without hesitation, their cheeks flushing. Loki’s jaw nearly dropped, but then again she was also attracted to females so…”I was just wondering I guess. I mean, if it feels natural for you, why wouldn’t you be female more often?”

He shrugged, “In my experience, both Asgardians and mortals tend to judge such things negatively...What about you? How do you feel about being male right now?”

Terra paused, for longer than Loki anticipated as they tried to formulate a response. “I...I want to say I haven’t had much of an opportunity to understand what it’s like being male, but somehow that feels like a lie, and I can’t figure out why. I always do my best not to lie, and you know that, right?”

Yes, he knew that well. Terra was one of the few that tried so hard, which was what made their coupling all the more unusual. He listened intently as they continued. “I don’t know. It’s strange but, I feel like...There’s an echo, like I had another life and...For some reason, the more I become used to this body, the more familiar it becomes. Yet, I still feel like I’m a woman, and the more I miss being one physically. I mean, Lenny found me as a girl, so that means I was naturally one. So, I was always one, right? Ugh, none of this makes any sense.”

Terra palmed their face, frowning as they struggled to piece something out of their confusion. Loki kept his eyes on the road, but tried his best to comfort them as he laid held their hand once more. “We’ll figure this out but know this, everyone has a preference and throughout life they are discovering new things about it. It’s natural to be confused about one’s gender or sexuality. I was perplexed about my own until my mother showed me how to be more free to shift between such states.”

Terra stared at him, then beamed. He smiled back, grateful to confide in her in that manner. It was a secret he rarely shared. “In any case, the spell only last forty-eight hours. After that…”

“Sorry I’m not pleasant company right now,” they apologized, the bags under their eyes prominent from stress and work. Labor from Damage Control had already been burdensome, but this had added more than usual. “I have a feeling you were expecting something much different.”

He felt more guilty, but he needed to be honest to her if no one else, “I did, but I forgot myself as well. You matter to me. I care about your health and well being more than I do my selfish needs.”

“Everyone has a right to be selfish Loki, and we can’t always help our thoughts,” they stated. “Besides, I tend to see the worst of people’s symbols, remember? You don’t even compare to most the darker natures I encounter daily.”

Loki didn’t know what to feel when they said that. He was touched by their words, yet concerned, and somewhat horrified. He always knew what Terra saw was complicated, more so than he could ever dare to perceive. Worse yet, how those abilities came to be were not of their own volition. Someone wanted to make them into a tool, something to destroy. But...Terra used their abilities to protect, to heal, despite all odds and the pain it caused them. To still see so many horrible things in people, and believe in them still when those like him couldn’t, was unfathomable.

He was about to say something when Terra stiffened, their cheeks flushed, “How about we head to a gay bar?”

Loki had to steer into a nearby parking lot to compose himself. “What?”

They glanced shyly at him, “Er, well, this kind of thing doesn’t happen everyday so...Why not? I mean, you can shift your form more easily than I can, and this way, I can experiment a little more being a guy I guess? Maybe that sounds stupid…”

The prince couldn’t help but grin, but he also felt cautious. Terra wasn’t one to normally to try that kind of atmosphere, and he knew that his lover was also exhausted. Thinking for a moment, he murmured, “Is that what you really want?”

“...I’d like to try, if that’s okay with you?” Terra said quietly, their hands in their lap.

“Then let me try to give you some extra energy while the night is fairly young,” Loki uttered, placing his hands on their cheeks and pressing his forehead to theirs. Concentrating, he thought of a spell and transferred some of his wakefulness to Terra. It wasn’t much, but for a mortal it was plenty. There was more of a glow to them, and tiredness lessen a great deal. Smiling, he asked, “Feeling better?”

“I...Yes, but how about you?” they inquired worriedly.

He kissed the back of their hands, “I’m perfectly fine. Now, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a few hints in the original Hallowed Shapes about Terra's past, their possible gender, and what the audience can theorize. This is kind of a reference to that. 
> 
> I also figured for the time being, it might be safest to use they/their pronouns while Terra was in male form, even if Terra doesn't particularly care for any one. 
> 
> And yes, it's canon in the comics that Loki is gender fluid.


	23. Sexuality Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Terra visit the first gay bar, and an important piece of history.

“There are three bars I was thinking of,” Loki said carefully. “All three are fairly popular though, and we can leave them at any time if you get uncomfortable.”

Terra appeared determined. “I’m game.”

Parking in a street Greenwhich Village, he led them towards the Stonewall Inn. The dress of Judy Garland hung in the window, rainbow colored flags waved above, plaques decorating along the bottom of said window, and the sign was in bright, red lettering. If anyone knew the history of this place, they understood why Loki might have brought them here. Terra stared, swallowing and appearing far less nervous than before as they entered through the doorway.

Their hands clasped, they walked into the warming environment, palatable colors all around as men and women sat at stools by the bar, chatting and laughing together, possible partners by their sides.  In the bar itself were varieties of bottles, dark shirts hanging in the back, television sets, and old posters of the bar’s past. In the back center of the room was a scarlet pool table, and a stage nearby. There was an all gender restroom in the far back.

It was still of a partying kind of atmosphere, but something about the place still felt like...Home. Perhaps it was the wooden floors, the architecture of the walls, or even the frame of the bar itself. Whatever it was, there was something about the place that felt wonderful. It was enough to make Terra beam.

Loki’s hand squeezed Terra’s, happy that they were feeling safe in the moment. It was warm and comfortable there as they order a couple of beers, as well as a couple of vodkas. The two of them ordered a bowl of popcorn and smarties as well, an odd but apparently traditional specialty of the bar. As the night went on, there were a few performances by some lovely drag queens and then the dancing began. Loki tugged Terra onto the dancefloor, both giggling as they were a little silly at first, but leaned towards each other as they grew closer for a slower dance.

Terr leaned up, lips brushing against Loki’s, sweet and salty from the food and drink. He cupped their jaw, delighting in the feeling as his other hand gripped their mid-back, pulling them closer. Hands interlocked in his hair, scratching his scalp just as he liked it. When they pulled up for air, both were gasping, pupils blown wide, touches seeking more. It took a lot of effort for Loki not to pick his partner up and wrap their legs around his waist, especially with their face blushing and looking at him like that.

Burying his face in their shoulder, he held them close, swaying side to side in their dance. Feeling something prodding his thigh, he himself flushed, “Well...It’s nice to know we’re compatible no matter which form you are.”

Terra started stuttering, punching Loki in the shoulder a little, which only made the prince snort. 

“Sorry, I know I shouldn’t tease, but…” his eyes darkened as he pecked his lover on the lips once more, his eyes lingering on them probably longer than he ought to have. “I did mean what I said before, about you looking ravishing.”

They looked at his too, wrapping their arms around his neck, and leaning up, scratching the back of his head, “Maybe later.”

Then they turned, literally leaving him wanting more. Loki’s imagination was running wild again and it was getting harder and harder to be a gentleman. He bit his lip, giving the bar man a rather large tip on his way out...And by large tip, he meant a diamond.

How in Hel was he going to last two more bars? Terra was already in the car, and once he got in, he grabbed them and kissed them as passionately as he could, devouring their mouth until they almost couldn’t breathe. Terra gasped as he pressed his mouth along their jaw, down their neck, and against their collarbone. Hearing them whimper, he smirked and let them go.

“Now, onto the next one,” he said, buckling in and starting the car.

Terra quickly realized what he had done, and soon smiled as well, apparently not minding his little action of vengeance too much. Loki was glad he had earned their trust thus far enough to pull such a stunt in all honesty. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have dared do such a thing.

Their next stop? The Ritz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone knows anything about the Stonewall Inn, they understand the significance of the place.


	24. Sexuality Part 2

After getting past the bouncer, which was a tad difficult with Terra’s ID not exactly matching their current appearance and the security being as tight as it was. Nothing seemed to get past their eye, but thankfully with the notice/temporary ID Terra was able to provide from Damage Control that was meant for police or any authorities in case of emergency, they were let in after the coat check. At least they knew the security was thorough, even if a bit tough to say the least.

“Why didn’t you use that as a license?” Loki asked, thinking about how Terra had asked him to pick them up.

“Because it’s one thing to grant a temporary ID, and another for a license. You’d be surprised how protective the DMV can be of that,” Terra sighed. “Damage Control has to have spare IDs on hand just in case something freaky happens in any case, like injuries or some other hazards. I don’t think anybody expected, well, suddenly genderbending.”

Loki snorted, “Damage Control really ought to. It’s common sense for them to expect the unexpected. If anything, I’m shocked they let me in, with my history and all.”

Terra blinked at him, and frowned, “Well, you’re known as a hero now, and your ID shows that. Beyond that...It’s kind of known that you’re not exactly straight. So judgements aside, there’s no current reason for them to turn you away, and no particular threat either. If anything, I think you might protect them from any threats.”

He tilted his head, “What do you mean?”

Terra only had to utter two words, “Pulse Nightclub.”

Loki grimaced, slowly nodding his head. Since coming to Midgard, he’d learned much of the world’s history, and of more recent events. As he was well-known in mythology for being gender-fluid and having both female and male lovers...Did the people here see him as someone to feel safe with? The feeling was an odd one, to have the mere concept of others feeling comforted by his presence.

But he also knew that sensation whenever Terra looked at him, as they did now. This time, they lead him to the darkened room, pulsating with lights and loud music. It was the kind from the late 90s, to roughly early 2000s era. Neither one quite knew what to do, since this wasn’t their norm for celebrating or having fun, but there was a chaotic element to it that Loki could appreciate.

Still, the two of them were more of the bookish kind of people. They were the ones who preferred more privacy and this area wasn’t quite it. He could see Terra’s discomfort, and swiftly moved to the upper third floor where there were fewer people. After ordering a few martinis to cool down from dancing, a rather popular song was being played by the Disk Jockey er, DJ as mortals referred to them.

 

_ “You know I want you. It's not a secret I try to hide. I know you want me, so don't keep saying our hands are tied.” _

Terra glanced at Loki anxiously, but tugged him to his feet, leading the dance as they moved to the beat. They looked into each other’s eyes, getting lost in the moment as they spun and twirled, memories of the past mixing with the present. Holding hands tight, Loki twirled Terra so that their back was to his chest, the two’s pulses beating as one.

_ "You claim it's not in the cards and fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me, but you're here in my heart...So who can stop me if I decide that you're my destiny?” _

That was right, the two had chosen each other, and no matter what happened, this was the world that they fell in love. They could change their forms, they could question everything, but what was true was that here and now, they were here, and they were together. Love is love, and anyone who said otherwise could go screw themselves.

_ “What if we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine. Nothing could keep us apart…” _

Kissing their neck, he spun them away, only for his beloved to return to his arms. Lifting them up, it felt like he was cradling the world, his whole world, in his hands, and he didn’t want to let go.

_ “You'd be the one I was meant to find. It's up to you, and it's up to me. No one can say what we get to be.” _

Please, did his love know just how much he cared? Were they aware, how much he adored them? How much they meant? From how they kissed him, dearly and tenderly, Loki didn’t find himself questioning his fears anymore.

_ “So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours...Tonight.” _

The music kept on playing, but the two lovers broke away from the bar’s flashing lights and loud music, wrapped up in the moment. In the silence there were so many words that unsaid, yet so loud in touches and gazes that they didn't need to be. Loki swallowed, feeling broken and healed all at once.

Terra cupped his face, pressing Loki’s lips to their own, and said in the softest of tones, “I love you, Loki.”

They took his breath away, and foreheads meeting as both smiled, “And I love you.”

They left the bar, hand in hand. Terra leaned their head against his shoulder, murmuring, “Loki, I’m sorry, but I think I’m a bit tired out.”

“I am too,” he admitted, kissing their palm.

“But...Can we try the third one,” they hesitated, “Both as females if that’s okay with you?”

Loki chuckled, his mouth melting against Terra’s. Oh, he was definitely okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personally, I doubt the Ritz would actually play that particular song, but from reviews of the place and songs mentioned, the DJs play popular 90s-2000s music, as well as recent massive hits. 
> 
> Apparently Rewrite the Stars by Zac Efron and Zendaya from the Greatest Showman is fairly popular and I thought it kind of fit the theme here. So...Yeah, I just used it for this segment.
> 
> EDIT: Here's the link to the song if anyone's interested.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLOUpP6l_Sc&index=12&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm


	25. Sexuality Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter DOES get a little steamy, so anybody under 18 might want to avert their eyes. It's NOT smut per se, but it will kind of lead up to it. AKA, viewer discretion advised.
> 
> It's just a lot of heavy making out and/or skin contact/foreplay.

“Are you still comfortable with me sleeping beside you?” Loki asked.

Raising an eyebrow, Terra tilted their head, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well...I’m not sure if you trust me not to-”

Terra walked over to him, clutching his wrist and pressing his hand to their heartbeat. “I trust you Loki. And besides...I did say ‘maybe later’, didn’t I?”

They blushed then, “Although I would prefer during my first time with you when I’m a female myself, I’m okay with you being any gender that you are comfortable with. After that, I’m open to try anything within reason or comfort.”

Loki gaped, then smirked, “You...Have become a lot more daring as of late.”

They blushed, “Er, well...I guess I’m trying to meet you halfway to be honest.”

He tensed, worry plaguing him as he listened. “You’re always trying so hard and...I’m it seems like I rarely do enough to meet you or do anything that you like.”

This time, Terra kissed his palm, right over his heartbeat, “So, I’m trying to be more mischievous I suppose, try new things, and maybe, get more out of my usual comfort zone.”

They smiled up at him, the brown hues ever growing darker, drawing Loki in, “Much to my surprise...I kind of like it. It’s fun, and I’m learning more about myself than I knew before.”

Loki’s worry lessened, but he hugged them, rubbing their back, “Don’t push yourself too hard for my sake. It’s one thing to grow, it’s another to hurt yourself.”

The memory of Terra’s depression and suicidal thoughts back when they were a teenager were haunting. He knew they were better now, but at the same time such thoughts would never completely dissipate.

“I know, but isn’t that the point of being with someone? To be with them, to grow and learn more not only from one another, but about ourselves?” Terra asked honestly, peering up at him. Leaning their head against his chest, they kissed his ccheek, “I’m not afraid of you, Loki. I feel safe when I’m with you. And…”

They blushed, burying their face into his shoulder, squeaking a little. “I wouldn’t be adverse to trying a few things as long as we don’t go too far?”

…

..

.

It took a moment for the prince to process Terra’s words, but once he did, he brought himself back into reality, feeling both of their heartbeats racing as Terra fisted their hands nervously in Loki’s shirt. Gently, Loki took Terra’s hands, interlinking their fingers into his, holding them as he once did, eyes softening.

**_She nodded, jumping slightly as his fingers started to intertwine with hers. Loki paused, unsure until she returned the gesture, clinging more tightly than he expected. It felt like she needed something or someone to hold onto, as if words weren’t enough to convey what needed to be said. She inhaled and slowly exhaled, exhaustion evident in her form, and Loki couldn’t help but wonder how many nights she rarely slept because of her fears and painful experiences._ **

**_“Like I said, the few memories I have aren’t exactly pleasant.”_ **

**_His grip tightened, recalling how she reacted to anyone touching her, and how difficult it was for her to let anyone close. She had admitted trauma was what caused her phobia. It wasn’t hard to understand what happened. “Do you want to talk about it?”_ **

**_She shook her head, her voice hoarse._ **

**_“Not really, I’ve talked about what I remember to so many people from police, to SHIELD, Damage Control and…”_ **

**_Her sentence broke off, her words getting lost. Her free hand tapped the corner of her eyes, the lights in them fading in and out as if the life in them were draining. Loki didn’t know what to do, but he knew he wanted to see the smile in them again. He wanted to see the glimmer he noticed when they turned brown, when she appeared the most content or happy. Despite their conflicts, he wanted so much more for the one who had helped him so much._ **

**_“My eyes are tied to the place where it all happened. So no matter what, I can’t forget it no matter how much I try. I’m just, tired.”_ **

**_This was the woman who was always strong. This was the woman who had tackled him, insulted him, saved his life when they first met. This was the person who battled against impossible odds, who constantly struggled to do the right thing, who braved the gods themselves to offer him a chance to do better and here she was...Sounding broken. Once upon a time, maybe Loki could’ve found some sadistic light in this, but now? Now he just felt hollow. Then again, he doubted he could ever imagine have wanted to see anyone quite like this, to suffer what she had._ **

**_He hadn’t even noticed he was crying until her shocked face found his, and she too looked lost, unsure what to do, but she did appear to want to comfort him, reaching out, but tentative. He uttered, “How, how do I-?”_ **

**_She smiled softly, bittersweetly, closing her eyes before squeezing his hand. “You can’t fight my demons for me, big guy. No one can. I’ll face them every day for as long as I live, but I will live unlike how they wanted me to. For now, I wouldn’t mind just for someone being next to me for a few minutes if that’s okay.”_ **

**_His grip tightened, not enough to hurt, but enough to reassure her she wouldn’t be alone._ **

Reflecting on that moment, Loki understood how far they both had come. Back then they were barely friends. Now? Now they had fallen in love, and touched each other often, with trust that they didn’t know was possible. Even more so, Terra would never be alone. He squeezed their hand, making that silent vow.

“Loki?” they asked, brown meeting his scarlet as he dropped his Asgardian form.

They were both vulnerable in that moment, and Loki knew that Terra would prefer it that way, more so as they instantly relaxed a great deal more into his arms. He never understood why they preferred it, but they did.

**_They lay down, with him, gently holding her back, and rubbing slightly but never going near her waist nor anywhere else that may seem inappropriate._ **

**_His head, his chin, rested at the top of her head at first, until she murmured, “I’m sorry but, I need to see you.”_ **

**_He lowered his head, her pulse slowing a little, though she seemed a little disappointed. That’s when he understood what she meant, but also knew she wouldn’t push for it._ **

**_After a moment, he exhaled, his naturally blue skin overwhelming the normal pale kind that most knew. Crimson gaze met near pure brown for the first time. Now, both of them were truly vulnerable to one another as Jotun met the near powerless human. But, she didn’t know how much power she truly held, did she?_ **

**_Said brown eyes widened in surprise before gentling by the smile he’d come to adore. Carefully, making sure she was able to push him away at any moment, he pressed his forehead to hers, their breaths mingling in the small space between them that appeared to shrink with every second._ **

**_The exhaustion was becoming more and more apparent in her features before finally, she shut her eyes, her body loosening as she fell into a deep slumber almost within seconds. Yet, her hand still lingered tightly in his, almost like a lifeline. The problem was, he couldn’t tell between them which was the lifeline anymore, as he too, fell into sleep._ **

Pressing his lips to theirs, he breathed them in as if they were the air, and he couldn’t get enough. Whispering in Terra’s ear, he murmured, “If it becomes too much, tell me.”

“I will,” they promised.

His eyes darkened, and he reached his hand over to the wall, dimming the lights a little so that it was enough that Terra could still see him, but would focus more on what Loki was about to share with them. They gasped when he nibbled the lobe underneath his mouth, the marks quickly soothed by the slight coolness from his Jotun form, causing them to whimper.

He growled softly as their hands clutched to his scalp, pulling onto his hair. His grip hardened on their hips, but he was careful not to press too hard as he peppered kisses down their jaw, suckling on their neck.

**_He had to breathe as he thought of the hue of brown he cared about so much. It wasn’t green he’d come to know, but deep, deep brown. Nearly choking, he struggled to maintain a steady tone as he addressed her, “Miss Barloc...Terra...Please, return safely.”_ **

**_“Loki?” she asked again, obviously confused._ **

**_Flushing slightly, he recalled one of Earth’s tales that Terra had told him of. “Terra..._ ** **Flowers are blooming by the road. Enjoy them on your way home.** **_”_ **

**_She was a member of Damage Control, and their organization knew fully well the power of hidden meanings, though silly or ridiculous they often were as they were born from worry or fear. But Terra? She understood hidden meanings more than most, and she would know this one._ **

**_It was part of the tale of a Emperor feeling homesick for his Empress when she went to see her family. Not wishing to rush her or make her feel caged, the ruler told his love and dearest friend the same words Loki told Terra. The spouse was secretly informing his beloved that he desperately missed her, and yearned for her safe return, but respected her needs. By saying this, Loki was adding his own meanings by not only wishing for Terra’s safe return, but also asking for permission to court her by addressing her as such._ **

**_For what felt like an eternity, even if only a few moments, the one he waited for was utterly silent. Thankfully, she didn’t keep him waiting too long. “Terra?”_ **

**_“...This is my first time out like this,” she murmured quietly. “Are the flowers really that beautiful?”_ **

**_His fingers trembled as he realized her silent questions._ **

**Are you sure you want this? Do you know what you’re offering? I have no idea what I’m doing, is that all right?**

**_Thus, she was considering his offer, his proposal. She was actually thinking of accepting him, in a much different way than either of them would ever have possibly imagined._ **

“Loki,” Terra whispered under his touch, their cheeks flushing.

His heart pounded, wondering how he could ever show how much his beloved meant to him. He kissed them as tenderly as he could, hoping he could convey everything he felt for them for every moment where he had fallen for Terra Barloc. Where for every step of the way, for every trial, for every moment they had that they let each other grow closer and closer in ways no one could ever have fathomed.

_**“Loki...May I kiss you?”** _

_**Looking at her in astonishment, and then adoration, he nodded, tilting her chin, “Yes.”** _

_**Cupping her cheek, he leaned downward, but made sure she was the one that chose to meet him as well. Their breaths mingled as there was a pause on both sides, waiting, anticipating and giving a chance to let either one back out. As their lips met, he wanted to drown in her scent, tasting her for the first time. He didn’t care that she was slightly chapped or if there was dust intermingling with her fruity and baked scents.** _

_**He just wanted her.** _

He picked them up, their legs instinctively intertwining around his waist, arms wrapping around his neck. Loki pulled one of them away, kissing the palm as he set them on the counter momentarily, up their arm and lingering on their shoulder, causing them to shudder. Their breath quickened, as did his own.

_**Loki paused as he followed the grooves of the Lichtenberg figures along the side of her neck. He grimaced, hating that they were placed there by Mjolnir while at the same time, admiring that she had taken the markings on purpose in order to save millions. Not hearing her questioning tone, he became lost in his thoughts and had placed his lips lightly on the juncture of her neck as if it would soothe the old wound.** _

_**Upon hearing her squeak, he immediately apologized. That’s when he noticed her brown eyes were somewhat flushed, a little darkened and she seemed confused. Understanding why she might be but also knowing she might not be ready for something, he tried to make sure she was okay.** _

This time, when he kissed the back of their neck, over the same scars, they leaned into him. Terra then placed their hands on his chest, halting him. He immediately stopped looking at them with worry until he saw the desire in their eyes along with the tentativeness as they stroked along his throat. He swallowed, their gazes meeting.

“You can always touch me love.”

Terra smiled gently, their voice hoarse, “I’ll always ask anyways.”

They leaned up to him, nibbling at his ear, and he groaned, clawing at their back.

**_Terra looked thoughtful, and the prince could only ponder what was possibly going on in her mind. Biting her lip, she finally spoke, “Would you like to move in with me?”_ **

**_He nearly choked on his drink._ **

**_“Sorry, I guess that was too forward. I’ll take it back and we can pretend it didn’t happen.”_ **

**_Shaking his head, he cleared his throat, “No, it’s fine just...Took me by surprise. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”_ **

They frowned a little when it came to his neck, the high collar blocking the way. Loki tore off his shirt then, kissing Terra while their hands fervently held onto the back of his shoulders, sending tingles up and down his spine despite him being in his Jotun form. He held their face, and they soon tasted underneath his jaw, their warm breath tickling and nearly sending him into a frenzy while comforting at the same time.

**_“Loki?” she asked worriedly._ **

**_“I love you,” he whispered, uttering the words as if he were breaking. “I love you.”_ **

**_Smiling, she leaned up and held his face in her hands, tugging his hair slightly as she knew he liked, pressing her lips to his. “I love you, Loki, and I trust you with all I am.”_ **

Terra and Loki both breathed heavily, resting for a moment as the former nestled the juncture on his neck and shoulder. Terra breathed his name then, looking into his eyes once more, and Loki felt himself trembling. There were so many emotions running through him, ones he didn’t think he was ever capable of feeling. What he did know, was that he was going to show them to the one he loved.

Picking them up, he carried them to their room, and carefully laid them on the bed, kissing them just as the two had for the first time so long ago. They both looked at each other, seeking permission for something unknown to either of them. Finding it, both of them shared a kiss, their hands holding on for the night the couple would remember forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Terra is still a guy here.
> 
> And...I don't think either of them mind that much.


	26. Forevermore Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anyone under 18 and/or minors, SHOO!
> 
> This chapter gets a little steamy between two guys, so children seriously, go away.
> 
> Adults, feel free to read.

**Forevermore Part I**

Terra ran their fingers through his hair, caressing Loki’s cheek. He swallowed, nuzzling his dearest’s neck, delighting in the pulse beating frantically beneath his lips. They tasted of salt, and smelled baked goods, and something fruity. Nipping at their collarbone, he rose slowly, crawling up to hold their waist down with one hand and the other to cup their face, prodding their lips for permission.

They opened up, and he slipped in, causing them both to shudder as their tongues met, breaths intermingling in the most wondrous sensations. He gasped as their hips instinctively rose to meet his, rocking into him while clutching onto his hand as if he was holding onto their very life. 

He changed their positions, lifting Terra so they were in his lap, and more in control. Terra looked at him, confused, until Loki ran his tongue up their neck, watching as Terra’s eyes widened in surprise and lust. They tilted their head back, gasping, and Loki watched with his darkened eyes, raking his hands into their back to find a spot that would make them tremble.

Finding it, Terra keened into his touch, and Loki kissed, sucking underneath their jaw, tentatively rolling into them. Gauging their reaction, he looked into their nearly black eyes, seeing if they would permit him to remove their shirt. Terra gulped, but nodded. Loki paused, sensing their nervousness. Thus, he made sure to kiss every scar he came across when he did so.

When he was done, he held Terra’s face, kissing their forehead, their cheeks, and then their lips. He was startled when he found their tears. Searching for anything he did wrong, he was about to apologize when Terra suddenly clutched his scalp with one hand, scratching and tugging, the other clawing his back enough to leave marks. 

Loki found himself pushed himself back into the bed, breathless and looking up at Terra, who appeared embarrassed and flustered in worry. 

“I...Oh gods, did I hurt you? I’m sorry I-”

Leaning up, he sucked on their bottom lip, once more undulating against their hips, and causing them to pant. Smiling he murmured, “I loved it...Touch me, please?”

Terra blinked in disbelief, then hoarsely asked, “I...H-How?”

“Do what feels natural,” he whispered. They still appeared nervous. He took their hand, kissing the palm of it, directly on the scar that marked when Terra had saved his life. “I’ll tell you if something hurts, or if I don’t like it. Trust me?”

Their eyes narrowed in determination, and something else. “Always.”

Tracing his neck, they explored the lines in his Jotun form, eyes darkening once more. Loki couldn’t help but feel a little smug about his earlier theory about the marks possibly attracting mates, but the thought started to waver as Terra’s fingers moved lower and lower on his abdomen. Then, they went back up, and he relaxed once more, breathing once more as their hands circled his palm. Terra moved again, finding the ones that led to his nipples. Tilting her head, he realized that their eyes darkened a great deal more in less of a second.

Their lips pressed onto his throat, his collarbone, and then over his heart, not minding the cold in the slightest. But that wasn’t what made him grip the sheets. No, it was when their tongue sucked onto his areola, their teeth scraping it and tongue tracing it as their fingers had his lines. Loki wheezed, struggling not to hold Terra’s head there as pleasure consumed him. 

Blood rushed through his head, and elsewhere, catching Terra’s attention. “Are you sure I’m not hurting you?”

He growled, taking their hand whilst breathing harshly, waiting momentarily, unsure before placing slowly downwards and granting them every opportunity to pull away, searching their gaze. There was no fear there, not even as they touched him. Instead, Terra’s eyes dilated, and the prince whispered softly, “Does it feel like you’re hurting me?”

“...No,” Terra murmured, kissing him. 

Loki understood in that moment, Terra’s own blood must’ve rushed somewhere as his did. He also quickly realized, that Terra’s hand was carefully moving where Loki had placed it, causing the latter’s back muscles to clench. He bit his lip, placing his forehead against Terra’s, heaving as their other hand scraped up his back and into his hair, tugging his hair.

He gasped their name as they kissed over his heart once more, nibbling at his nipples soon after. Their other hand was stroking him through his pants, and Loki felt himself bucking into their touch, his cheeks flushing. The air was full of their combined breaths, theirs warm and his cool.

“Loki, may I?” Terra asked, tugging at his pants.

This time, there wasn’t fear or nervousness in their tone, only desire. Loki fought to maintain control wanting to do so much more. 

“Yes...May I remove yours?”

“Yes,” Terra uttered, more shyly than he. Neither hurried even if they both likely wanted to, instead absorbing the sights before them. This time, it was Loki who was anxious, this form new to him. His Jotun self was always something he feared, something he had felt disgusted with. Yet, Terra breathed, “You’re beautiful.”

Their smile was enchanting, and there was no falsehood in their wonder. Fervently, Loki admired Terra’s appearance as well, kissing them as he stroked their stomach and their hips, loving their muffin top. Loki smirked, placing his lips almost everywhere he could, starting at their feet, but avoiding the one area he wanted most, knowing they likely weren’t ready for that.

“Gorgeous...Alluring… Exquisite...” Finally reaching their mouth, he whispered, returning every touch that Terra gave to him, leaving them breathless. “Ravishing.”

Needless to say, they spent the rest of the night, exploring each other’s bodies and most sensitive places...and Loki was overjoyed to learn, that Terra was a very quick learner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is based off of Broken Iris' Forevermore.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vuJvViCHJ8&index=13&list=PL9XJm6jVWidQlIm_qJBOIFgjXZrJ77xIm


End file.
